A few years back I had a vivid dream. Though it wasn’t lucid, I had a moment when I knew I was dreaming and realized I was somewhere “real.” I floated in a plasma like atmosphere. It was quiet. Filtering through the space, a soft light glowed around the edges of shapes and from the colors of the “atmosphere.”
The planes of the ground, horizon and sky all vibrated iridescent of purple, blue-magenta and some red-pink tones. There were shapes that looked like rocks. Other objects that painted the landscape but I do not recall and of course I did not think to write it down after the dream occurred. I thought at the time that it was such a vivid and life transforming experience that I would remember all the details.
While those details have faded, I’m left with awestruck feeling of being somewhere out of this world. I felt as if I were Hubble’s telescope, where the lens would view. In the dream, I thought that I had arrived at this place by traveling outward and going ‘up’ high and great distance away. I thought of the location like, if one left Earth, this place would be way out in the galaxy somewhere. That is the impression I have had all along until a few days ago.
Dreams can be attention getters. They have that essence of familiarity from this existence, however small, but hyperbolized, painted with sparkles and consist of super-hero like attributes. On top of that a hefty handful of quantum stew elements, marinated in all the effects that Hollywood, Disney, NASA, and Tesla combined could possibly muster, set the stage for our dreams.
While in a vivid dream state, it may seem like, yes, this is the way it is, this is truth. But coming back and waking up and revisiting it with the 3D lens, it makes no sense. It is magical, mystical, and hopeful, but as well is also confusing and leaves one in a state of understanding that there is so much more to ALL of this that must be explored.
But back to a few days ago, when the where that I was, was turned inside out. For some reason, I am on a super-hero kick as I am watching Netflix and clicking on the “Guardians of the Galaxy,” “The Avengers,” and “Ant-Man and the Wasp.” Ant-Man is unique in that he can get very, very small. Quantum level small. A small world he collapsed into was déjà vu to the vivid dream I described earlier.
Upon seeing this and connecting it to that dream, a knowing bell rang inside of me. It occurred to me that my assumption of going out and far may not have been so. When in deep water, up and down can easily get confused. Balance and equilibrium can feel off and we become challenged to orient ourselves. It seems possible that traveling outward and inward have that same phenomena. I may not have gone out to Hubble’s eyesight at all, but instead traveled inwards with the lens of a quantum microscope.
In a sense, that feels right. My sense of orientation was off, and I was inward and at the beginning. I was at the place of the building blocks and the source of all things, where it’s all connected and tangled to all that is. It is a place to go to make adjustments when things run amok on this larger than life stage. Whether it be a health issue, or a seemingly out of control situation, or an engine on the fritz, this is THE PLACE to be to fine tune at the core and heal and resolve.
The greatest part of this whole exploration, is that it came around full circle to home, where we’ve all been and where we go often when meditating or tapping into healing practices like Trinity. I cannot wait to go back in with all senses and more. Now I remember how once again. It is a funny sort of remembering to remember, remember: We’re almost there, remembering this kind of thing.
Speaking of remembering, where I’m going with all of this is a reminder to us. A reminder to take the time to practice going within and connecting to all there is. Figuratively intend to pull some weeds and plant some trees and hug one while you’re there at the root source, so that love and good continues to be reflected up high and all over the place near and far. It is all connected. It’s all good. We are love and all that jazz.
This past January I had the pleasure to walk in the footsteps of the Divine Feminine in Southern France. At the time of my travels it felt too sacred to share my experiences. I had yet to integrate the Energy Shift that happened there and opened my heart.
I felt so blessed to be able to visit this pilgrimage place, where the three Mary’s landed with their little boat in France, after expulsion by persecution from the holy land. They traversed the Mediterranean in a frail boat, and landed in Southern France, at a place called Sainte Maries de la Mer. They also honor Sainte Sara, patron saint of the gypsies, every year.
When I stepped into the Church in Sainte Maries de la Mer, I felt the peaceful Energy right away. Stepping down into the crypt, I saw a statue of Sainte Sara, the Sainte of the Gypsies. I was overcome by a holy presence and felt such gratitude and a light all around. I shivered from the Energy in the room. It was a one of a kind experience.
After we left the church we we ran out of time to go on a Ferry to see the wild horses of the Camargue. I said jokingly to my fellow travelers, “I am not leaving until I see the wild horses!” A minute later, they showed up on the side of the road. Talking about instant manifestation! I stopped the car and we admired the wild horses. I thanked Sainte Sara, as I felt it was she, sending us the horses to see.
There are things in this world that cannot be explained, they have to be felt with an open heart. When we bought souvenirs in a little gift store next to the church, we were all gifted a hand drawn picture and a bracelet of Sainte Sara. It all felt very connected to the Divine Feminine.
On our trip we also visited, the Pope’s Palace in Avignon, then Lourdes. There in the Grotto of Massabielle, where the Virgin Mary appeared to a Young woman in the 1800’s, we collected Holy Water for my healings and house blessings.
The Grotto in Sainte Baumes, on the side of a mountain, where Mary Magdalene supposedly lived for thirty years in the cave, had an amazing hike up and view. Interestingly, the Church there displayed her skull as a sacred relic. But nothing matched the experience of Sainte Sara. I really connected with her essence and spirit. It was a very sacred journey and lots of divine Energy to integrate. I anchored the light in most holy places where we visited and connected to the grid.
While traveling, we saw the “Yellow Jacket” movement every Saturday. People are protesting and standing up for their rights, and economic justice, in every major city in France. So, we almost got stuck in the middle of a demonstration in Nimes. People are waking up all over the world.
Since arriving back home, I feel another shift in my life, grateful to be alive and to experience the joys and pleasures of life. I had a truly a heart opening experience on this pilgrimage. I’m so grateful to my friend and her daughter to travel to these sacred places together. Because of this, I feel ready to manifest the next adventure with an open heart to connect to all there is.
Trinity Energy Progression Facilitator/Practitioner
In every challenging period of my life I have chosen to hunker down, check out and deal with things on my own. It was my belief that there really wasn’t anyone who really wanted to listen to what I was going through. Everyone else had their own struggles. Why would they want to listen to me when I was at my lowest? So I would watch TV to numb myself, isolate myself from all the people who cared about me, complain about how rough I had it and then make believe everything was okay.
Most of the time this would carry me over until the next challenging time, but I would make minimal movement towards really seeing/healing what was causing me so much suffering. It wasn’t until I started practicing Trinity that I realized that those challenging moments were ME showing ME what needed to shift so I could come to remembrance of Authenticity. However, I must admit, I hadn’t really committed to a consistent practice until recently.
I knew what the commitment was in theory but I was always drawn back to my usual way of doing things because it felt comfortable. Actually, taking responsibility and making the time to see what I needed to do for myself seemed like too much effort. Growing up, I was spoon fed how to be a victim and it felt SO GOOD. Blaming someone or something else felt awesome because I didn’t have to step up to the plate. I could just hide behind the hurt and the blame and throw stones from a safe distance.
But here’s the thing: The effort it takes to stay in those old patterns is so much more draining than the effort to take responsibility and shift into courage and acceptance! Yes, some of the things we have to look at are truly uncomfortable for us to acknowledge and witness and feel, but we have a choice in what to do.
All of these aspects of me that I have committed not to run away from are qualities that make me cringe. Pieces of me that I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge for such a long time. Right now I’m seeing the mirrors I have put up for myself everywhere. Everything in our reality can be a mirror for growth, if we choose to look at those pieces reflected back to us. Since we are ultimately ALL One, our reality reflects aspects of ourselves “in the mirror” to look at and grow from. My goodness, have I’ve been giving myself messages!
And now, I have decided to truly listen, be fully aware and bring those parts back to love and acceptance. This process has been so difficult as I’m sure it is for most of us. Every piece of unworthiness has come up for me. Every bit of lack. Every bit of “Not Enough”. Every bit of self-loathing. In every situation I have set up, there’s a reflection! There are moments when it feels like that’s all I am, these “less than” pieces. I think, “Will I ever fully remember my Authentic Divine Self? I’m so broken, what’s the use? How will I ever be everything I was created to be when I have so much to undo?”
In the past, I would have given up. I would have manifested an illness so I had the inarguable excuse to check out and hunker down. Chosen something to numb my feelings of unworthiness and fear, isolated myself because I would believe, “Who would love someone so broken and weak?” and hoped it would turn around. Starting to repeat the old patterns of “victim extraordinaire”… this time I knew I had to choose differently. This time, I would not give up on my commitment to wholeness! Even though changing my pattern felt unbearable at times, in choosing to honor me, I remembered the understanding which gave me the perspective to continue and not give up.
Yes, the aspects of lack and separation are reflections of me. Every one of those aspects that I keep becoming aware of are ME, AND so are the aspects of love, compassion, and wisdom, etc., that I witness in others. When I look at another and see courage, creativity, trust, wisdom, joy, unconditional love, passion, that’s ME too!
My only focus doesn’t have to be on the parts that have to be brought back to wholeness. In those moments of despair, one very important thing I can do is look to the vast messages about the DIVINE ME all around. I truly hadn’t seen it that way. When I’m experiencing feelings of separation and lack, if my perspective of someone I admire is that they are everything I am not, this just propels me further into the spiral of despair.
To do it differently, when I feel that fear, doubt, judgement, etc., is what I truly am, what I need to do is look at the mirrors reflecting the Authentic Me, ALL of it! I will not be able to deny the Truth. This will allow me to get past the illusion of separateness long enough for me to continue on the process of forgiveness and acceptance, until I can come back to Wholeness.
In those periods of fear and defeat, I will remind myself that these are just moments leading me to Truth. I will remember to see my true nature of Oneness reflected in others and in situations, just as I see the pieces that are reflecting separation. When I see something in another which I feel I lack, I will remind myself that it’s already within me, for we are all One. I will take courage from the qualities of Oneness I witness and continue allowing and accepting the pieces of separation without so much fear and struggle.
And when I feel the struggle is too much and I want to retreat to old beliefs and patterns, I will reach out to the beautiful soul tribe of which I am a part for support, wisdom, love, perspective, etc., until I feel those same qualities within me again. For it is in those moments that I have to remember I can draw strength from all the wonderful people that surround me. No more hiding who I am or isolation. No more procrastination. The commitment to Wholeness is the path I choose and there’s no way I’m going to make it all the way through if I continue to choose the patterns that no longer serve me. Choose differently. Seek a different perspective. Choose a different action. Think differently. Is this super uncomfortable? YES! But the alternative will not lead me back to ME. The old pattern shows me I am just waiting for me to come home.
Trinity Energy Progression Facilitator/Practitioner