As the Holidays race towards me, I am finding it harder to do my self-care. Which makes it harder to create the Holiday I want for me and my family. I have decided to focus my energy on the ideas and things that bring me joy and warm memories. That goes for traditions as well as decorations. In fact, I am broadly applying that to every object in my house!! I am also reminding myself, as often as necessary, that anyone’s dissatisfaction comes from their expectations or believed needs and have nothing to do with me!
I am protecting my space as well, by continuing with my self care routines, even if they get shortened. I need to remind myself that simple things like brushing my teeth, washing my face and showering ARE self care! Another version of self care is watching what I say to myself. I have replaced “Man, I have way too much to do!” With “I have more than enough time to accomplish everything I desire.” It really shifts how my day plays out. I also find that if I think of the things I do for myself, like meals, relaxation time, and sleeping, with the same intent I would have if I were caring for a child or friend, it comes from a much more meaningful place and the results are much more powerful. A very simple self-care example is muting commercials while you watch TV. What a difference this makes! I also make sure I surround myself with things that bring me joy in my sleeping space. For me it is oils in my diffuser that relax me, my favorite Lemurian crystal on my nightstand and that I have an extra blanket handy if I need it during the night. My meal preparation and planning has also been revamped to reflect the notion of joy and warm memories. I don’t make things just because my family always has. I realize that is craziness. I also ask for help when things get busy. I realize that is a way to make more joy and warm memories and that it isn’t a sign of weakness!
All and all I have a much better outlook going in to these Holiday than ever before. I am creating them differently and completely based in joy and love for everyone including myself!!
Trinity Energy Progression Instructor/Practitioner
Many of us lack self-love, because we don’t attend to our wounds. We all have them. Some wounds are so intense they become traumatic, sometimes relegated to becoming a dark secret that we don’t want to look at, not to mention even talk about in our society. What if they are crying out for our acceptance, and to be loved so we can heal?
Culturally we are afraid of wounds. Afraid that they will define us, afraid they make us “less than”, afraid of the judgements of others. We’re afraid of drudging up sad memories, afraid that if we deal with them, we’ll become overwhelmed, stuck in depression, afraid that we’ll never heal. Such conditioning lends itself to the problem that we don’t love ourselves.
And it’s true, if we don’t look at them, we will never heal. If we don’t include the wound as a part of the whole that we are, we’ll never know our true potential. Largely we also don’t love ourselves in our culture. As Jelualudin Rumi said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” How could this be?
This quote hounded my thoughts like an intriguing mystery or befuddling koan. Many years into my healing journey, I purchased a bracelet with Rumi’s quote engraved upon it. I pondered it when old torments visited my mind, and where I felt these wounds – in my heart.
Thus I began to stalk my heart as if she were a white-tailed doe I wanted to befriend. When she was shy, I just sat with her, observing. Sometimes I waited and she didn’t show up, unsure that I would really be there. Eventually, I noticed how my heart felt interacting with different people. I could see when she was open, and when she was closed. I took extra care when my heart felt tender. Like leaving corn out for deer, I began feeding my heart more experiences that made her sing. Soon, she felt that acceptance and showed up with a family of old wounds that needed tending to, shyly asking for more.
The wounding in my heart taught me how to be kind to myself, how to love myself. Because I allowed myself to follow the threads of inspiration, things that I loved, my heart burst wide open. I spent untold amounts of time in nature, and continue to do so. Instead of dwelling on loneliness, I learned to accept it, and now love the time I spend alone. Meanwhile, I took myself as a lover. I studied ancient and new spiritual practices.
Throughout my journey, I learned that the more I shared what I had perceived to be “dark secrets” with others, the more I found our common humanity. By accepting my own wounding with unconditional love, I can learn to be present for that in others. Because I learned to lovingly be with my darkness, my heart has become lighter, fuller. By embracing my wounds with love, I learned to “let the light enter” after all.
Colleen Kendrick, Trinity Energy Practitioner