Tag: cathy guido

 

The Mirrors of Reality

Art installation of mirrors as standing stones on the beach

Mirrors as Standing Stones on the Canary Island Coast

In every challenging period of my life I have chosen to hunker down, check out and deal with things on my own. It was my belief that there really wasn’t anyone who really wanted to listen to what I was going through. Everyone else had their own struggles. Why would they want to listen to me when I was at my lowest? So I would watch TV to numb myself, isolate myself from all the people who cared about me, complain about how rough I had it and then make believe everything was okay.

Most of the time this would carry me over until the next challenging time, but I would make minimal movement towards really seeing/healing what was causing me so much suffering. It wasn’t until I started practicing Trinity that I realized that those challenging moments were ME showing ME what needed to shift so I could come to remembrance of Authenticity. However, I must admit, I hadn’t really committed to a consistent practice until recently.

I knew what the commitment was in theory but I was always drawn back to my usual way of doing things because it felt comfortable.  Actually, taking responsibility and making the time to see what I needed to do for myself seemed like too much effort. Growing up,  I was spoon fed how to be a victim and it felt SO GOOD. Blaming someone or something else felt awesome because I didn’t have to step up to the plate. I could just hide behind the hurt and the blame and throw stones from a safe distance.

But here’s the thing: The effort it takes to stay in those old patterns is so much more draining than the effort to take responsibility and shift into courage and acceptance! Yes, some of the things we have to look at are truly uncomfortable for us to acknowledge and witness and feel, but we have a choice in what to do.

All of these aspects of me that I have committed not to run away from are qualities that make me cringe. Pieces of me that I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge for such a long time. Right now I’m seeing the mirrors I have put up for myself everywhere. Everything in our reality can be a mirror for growth, if we choose to look at those pieces reflected back to us. Since we are ultimately ALL One, our reality reflects aspects of ourselves “in the mirror” to look at and grow from. My goodness, have I’ve been giving myself messages!

And now, I have decided to truly listen, be fully aware and bring those parts back to love and acceptance. This process has been so difficult as I’m sure it is for most of us. Every piece of unworthiness has come up for me. Every bit of lack. Every bit of “Not Enough”. Every bit of self-loathing. In every situation I have set up, there’s a reflection! There are moments when it feels like that’s all I am, these “less than” pieces. I think, “Will I ever fully remember my Authentic Divine Self? I’m so broken, what’s the use? How will I ever be everything I was created to be when I have so much to undo?”

In the past, I would have given up. I would have manifested an illness so I had the inarguable excuse to check out and hunker down. Chosen something to numb my feelings of unworthiness and fear, isolated myself because I would believe, “Who would love someone so broken and weak?” and hoped it would turn around. Starting to repeat the old patterns of “victim extraordinaire”… this time I knew I had to choose differently.  This time, I would not give up on my commitment to wholeness! Even though changing my pattern felt unbearable at times, in choosing to honor me, I remembered the understanding which gave me the perspective to continue and not give up.

Yes, the aspects of lack and separation are reflections of me. Every one of those aspects that I keep becoming aware of are ME, AND so are the aspects of love, compassion, and wisdom, etc., that I witness in others. When I look at another and see courage, creativity, trust, wisdom, joy, unconditional love, passion, that’s ME too!

My only focus doesn’t have to be on the parts that have to be brought back to wholeness. In those moments of despair, one very important thing I can do is look to the vast messages about the DIVINE ME all around.  I truly hadn’t seen it that way. When I’m experiencing feelings of separation and lack, if my perspective of someone I admire is that they are everything I am not, this just propels me further into the spiral of despair.

To do it differently, when I feel that fear, doubt, judgement, etc., is what I truly am, what I need to do is look at the mirrors reflecting the Authentic Me, ALL of it! I will not be able to deny the Truth. This will allow me to get past the illusion of separateness long enough for me to continue on the process of forgiveness and acceptance, until I can come back to Wholeness.

In those periods of fear and defeat, I will remind myself that these are just moments leading me to Truth. I will remember to see my true nature of Oneness reflected in others and in situations, just as I see the pieces that are reflecting separation. When I see something in another which I feel I lack, I will remind myself that it’s already within me, for we are all One. I will take courage from the qualities of Oneness I witness and continue allowing and accepting the pieces of separation without so much fear and struggle.

And when I feel the struggle is too much and I want to retreat to old beliefs and patterns, I will reach out to the beautiful soul tribe of which I am a part for support, wisdom, love, perspective, etc., until I feel those same qualities within me again. For it is in those moments that I have to remember I can draw strength from all the wonderful people that surround me. No more hiding who I am or isolation. No more procrastination. The commitment to Wholeness is the path I choose and there’s no way I’m going to make it all the way through if I continue to choose the patterns that no longer serve me. Choose differently. Seek a different perspective. Choose a different action. Think differently. Is this super uncomfortable? YES!  But the alternative will not lead me back to ME.  The old pattern shows me I am just waiting for me to come home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cathy Guido
Trinity Energy Progression Facilitator/Practitioner

Navigating This Shift… to ME

We have definitely shifted into a different space. The trip I took to Mt. Shasta in September was so powerful that I haven’t been able to fully return into my former home reality. I no longer feel like there is a specific place that I can call home. I keep longing for something that I can’t put my finger on.  I have this feeling I should move, but every time I think I’ve found a place that would be good, it doesn’t feel right and the search begins again.  There doesn’t seem to be a place that captures what I’m feeling inside.

In addition, I’ve been faced with issues that I thought I had worked out. Feelings of victimization, self-loathing, abandonment, loneliness, judgment, not being heard, fear of confrontation, feelings of self- sacrifice, self-judgment, feelings of worthlessness. Heavy stuff, things that I didn’t realize were still profoundly affecting me. I mean, how much of this do I have inside? It feels insurmountable at times. I have been brought to my knees AGAIN.  Almost every relationship showing me things  to shift, but yet are so challenging to face. The relationship with my parents and siblings is at the moment the one that has been mirroring issues for me the most. I knew that I had been changed forever when in Shasta but I had underestimated how much. I really thought that I could come home, take a couple of weeks to re-acclimate and go back to my routine life. But that isn’t the case! There is no such thing as “going back to routine.” That time has passed, and I am writing this so that all who read this can find comfort in the fact that so many of us are currently feeling the same way. Everyone I’ve spoken with has a similar story. We are all being pushed so hard to step into our full Divinity, our Truth. So many mirrors being put up so that we don’t stop moving forward. The Universe is no longer waiting around! It’s been doing this for some time, I know, but I feel we’ve gone into warp speed over the last couple of months. When I can finally get my head above water, out of all those feelings of separation, I can see all of it from a higher perspective. In those moments of clarity… my goodness, how beautiful and perfect it all is!

It’s only when I get out of mind and sit in the vibration of Love, the vibration that is ME, that I get the clarity. That’s when I get the peace. Although, I have to say, those times have been few and far between. There are many days, moments within the day that I have to constantly remind myself to allow and flow, and man, that has been really hard to do! Ego is holding on with a death grip! It’s been a challenging time fighting it. The thought of just going back to the way I was would be so much easier… but that isn’t an option, because the feelings of being stagnant are even more terrifying than the self work, which I know will end in something wonderful.

The perfection is that all of the things that I am being shown are exactly what’s standing in my way of true self-love, and it is only through this that we will be able to do what we came here to do. It’s only when we get through every last thing that gets in the way of loving ourselves completely as the perfect Divine beings we are, that we’ll be able to go forward without fear or doubt or anything and be exactly what we were created to be, pure Love. Love that knows no boundaries. Love that encompasses all. Love that is our Oneness. Love that needs no words, or thoughts, or physicality. Love that will just Be, Be the Divine that we already are but we can’t yet see because of all the blinders we’ve put up. They are falling away. This is what we are all being pushed to realize. Because there is no work to do really; that’s just an illusion. Everything we are being shown for us to shift are just messages to ourselves, reminders, the bread crumbs we have left so we can find our way back.  All of it so we can remember WE ARE already all of it. We are the Divine. We are Perfect. We are ALL.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cathy Guido
Trinity Energy Progression Practitioner/Facilitator

The Universe Has Our Back: We Are Constantly Being Held…

supportedroadThere have been major shifts that have been occurring that have pushed all of us on the path that we are supposed to be travelling. I know that for myself, I’ve been dragging my feet for some time. I had been standing still for so long that I didn’t know how to take a step forward.  I was terrified to stay in the space I was in, and at the same time terrified of where I was to go.

However, this past summer, all that changed. I experienced the life I so desire and I couldn’t stand still anymore. I know the steps that must be taken in order to live the way I dream… and they aren’t simple. Well, that’s not true. In a way, they are. They’re simple because what they will reveal is my Truth. I’ve been so afraid of accepting this and ashamed of what others would think that I have hidden it for way too long. I have lived a half-life, and I now know that I am worthy of so much more! I will no longer be what someone else wants me to be. I will no longer be something that would make me acceptable to others. I must be exactly who I was created to be… and that has come through so loudly that I can no longer ignore the signs.

This brings me to the title of this entry, for throughout the whole process, I’ve had to overcome enormous amounts of fear and self-doubts. When I thought that I couldn’t possibly dredge up anymore unworthiness, self-doubt, fear, anger, sadness, and loneliness, more would surface. When I felt like I was so alone that I wouldn’t make it through, the Universe was holding me. It was holding me in so many ways and I was oblivious. It hasn’t been until literally within the past few weeks that I’ve received such clarity! A few weeks ago was one of those times where I felt like I was dying, and what happened blew me away. Many of the amazing people that I’m lucky to have in my life stepped forward at exactly the moment I needed them. There is no way I could’ve even thought it out so perfectly. I was so humbled by it and it brought me to my knees. I then started to see how I have been held for so long and I had been blind to it the whole time. Even when circumstances are not what we like, we are being held because it is pushing us to our Truth. Now, I can see the love in every little thing. I see it when the perfect person reaches out to me at just the right moment. When I hear the perfect song plays on the radio. When I’m driving by and the sun is shining at just the right angle. I see it when I receive and listen to the perfect guidance – I’ve been getting better at that one! What a gift!  I see it when I know that I am at the perfect job at this moment, for it is providing exactly what I need. I feel it when the perfect bite of food nourishes me. I see it when a stranger gives me a smile. I see it when I sit with myself and am amazed at who I am finally revealing myself to be. The Universe has our back at every moment of every day… from the most minute ways to the ones that blow our minds. I have no words to express how grateful and humbled I am by this love. All I can say over and over again is, “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

cguido

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cathy Guido
Trinity Energy Progression Facilitator/Practitioner