Many of us lack self-love, because we don’t attend to our wounds. We all have them. Some wounds are so intense they become traumatic, sometimes relegated to becoming a dark secret that we don’t want to look at, not to mention even talk about in our society. What if they are crying out for our acceptance, and to be loved so we can heal?
Culturally we are afraid of wounds. Afraid that they will define us, afraid they make us “less than”, afraid of the judgements of others. We’re afraid of drudging up sad memories, afraid that if we deal with them, we’ll become overwhelmed, stuck in depression, afraid that we’ll never heal. Such conditioning lends itself to the problem that we don’t love ourselves.
And it’s true, if we don’t look at them, we will never heal. If we don’t include the wound as a part of the whole that we are, we’ll never know our true potential. Largely we also don’t love ourselves in our culture. As Jelualudin Rumi said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” How could this be?
This quote hounded my thoughts like an intriguing mystery or befuddling koan. Many years into my healing journey, I purchased a bracelet with Rumi’s quote engraved upon it. I pondered it when old torments visited my mind, and where I felt these wounds – in my heart.
Thus I began to stalk my heart as if she were a white-tailed doe I wanted to befriend. When she was shy, I just sat with her, observing. Sometimes I waited and she didn’t show up, unsure that I would really be there. Eventually, I noticed how my heart felt interacting with different people. I could see when she was open, and when she was closed. I took extra care when my heart felt tender. Like leaving corn out for deer, I began feeding my heart more experiences that made her sing. Soon, she felt that acceptance and showed up with a family of old wounds that needed tending to, shyly asking for more.
The wounding in my heart taught me how to be kind to myself, how to love myself. Because I allowed myself to follow the threads of inspiration, things that I loved, my heart burst wide open. I spent untold amounts of time in nature, and continue to do so. Instead of dwelling on loneliness, I learned to accept it, and now love the time I spend alone. Meanwhile, I took myself as a lover. I studied ancient and new spiritual practices.
Throughout my journey, I learned that the more I shared what I had perceived to be “dark secrets” with others, the more I found our common humanity. By accepting my own wounding with unconditional love, I can learn to be present for that in others. Because I learned to lovingly be with my darkness, my heart has become lighter, fuller. By embracing my wounds with love, I learned to “let the light enter” after all.
Colleen Kendrick, Trinity Energy Practitioner
You always give love to others and try to support them, but one of the most important things you can do for others is to love yourself. When you totally accept who you are and forgive yourself for perceived wrongdoings in the past, you can truly start loving yourself. This shows in everything you do and say. You automatically attract others who want to be around you. They can feel your “positive energy” giving them a sense of calmness. Many of us believe that if we love ourselves, others will think we are boastful. This does not mean bragging about yourself, it just means being yourself and sharing the love with others. When you truly love yourself, you can give love unconditionally to others. You do not need someone to “complete you and make you happy”- you already have that from within. It is such a free feeling to be around someone who does not expect anything from you to win their affection.
This quote by Marianne Williamson https://marianne.com/ is one of my favorites in remembering how to love myself: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s for everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
You do not realize how much a kind word or action can mean to another person. The story ” A Simple Gesture” by John W. Schlatter tells of a boy in high school who was contemplating suicide. Another boy came by on his way home from school and helped him pick up some things he had dropped. They talked and became friends. He later told his friend that by his kind actions, he decided he wanted to live that day http://www.chickensoup.com/book-story/36173/a-simple-gesture
Recently a close friend of mine told me that my kindness in junior high school had a big influence on her life. I did not realize it at the time. I tend to talk to everyone- just ask anyone who knows me. By the simple act of being a friend who listens, I changed someone’s life. What more could you ask for in this earthly plane, than to make a real difference for someone else? It is amazing how wonderful people are, even the ones that don’t appear to be on the outside. If you take a little time to get to know them, you can learn and grow from everyone you meet.
When I was trying to decide whether to go to a workshop on publishing an e-book, I told a friend I didn’t have anything to write about. She said,”Yes you do! Do you know how much your behavior influences others?” I had double knee replacement 5 years ago and kept going to physical therapy, even though the pain was unbelievable, so I could go whitewater rafting on Class 5 rapids six months later. She told me that my actions made her determined to start walking and lose weight. She realized that her excuses were small compared to mine for not taking care of her health.
The next time you think a kind thought about how nice someone looks, how kind their smile is, or how they make you feel, tell them. It only takes a minute of your time. It could be a major impact on their lives. Never underestimate a smile or kind word – it is worth more than you know.
If you would like to begin your journey to self-love, I would suggest starting a 10-minute meditation practice daily. Begin your day with at least five things you are grateful for. Also, think of five things you love about yourself. Over time, it gets easier. The time you invest in yourself will be manifested in your life many times over.
Trinity Energy Progression Practitioner
The fastest way to be the light
First love yourself with all your might
Then you will know which way to go
Where rewards come from – your heart aglow
White light, pure love – it’s essential
Sweet as it is, pure potential
Feel it now – and then release it
If just for a moment – what a difference it makes
To love another as we do ourselves
What a precious gift, first to give and then receive
Love and light, yes that’s the key
That’s the way, no You and Me
But to be free, we come to be.
Trinity Energy Progression Facilitator/Practitioner
In your stillness
In your warm embrace
I let go
In your space
I give love
all to feel
In your infinite gaze
I see clearly
In your temperance
all to manifest
In your depths
all your sides
In your eyes
I see you
all of you
and I LOVE YOU dearly.
Facilitator, Trinity Energy Progression™
Do you hold fear, insecurity, the feeling of not being good enough in you?
Find the reflectors that are holding you back, that are not working for you and work through them. Ask yourself, what reflectors am I wearing? What is reflecting back to me?
If you are angry or sad about something, or have negative emotions toward someone, you are in a low energy pattern. It will continue until you work through it and change it. Try to look at your issues and relationships as reflectors you are wearing. What does it reflect to you? What shows up in your life that annoys you? You are holding an aspect in some shape or form of the issue or person you judge and feel angry or sad about. Or maybe it’s a childhood issue or something that’s emerging from a past life.
Find out what it is for you. You might have to do some digging work and find out the beliefs that are holding you back. Replace your anger with kindness and love; make peace with the issue or the person. Raise your vibration, work through the issue, and send love and forgiveness and then let it go. Thank the person for the great gift they have been for you. The people who challenge you the most are your best teachers, as hard as it seems at the time. If someone is pushing your buttons, it shows there is struggle or drama, find it and clear that reflection you are holding. If the vibration is dense, work through it until it feels lighter.
We are receivers and transmitters. We feel drawn to certain people, we enjoy their company from the first moment we meet them; others you want to run from when you see them. Have you ever noticed how you feel when you walk into Wal-Mart or any other crowded; or low vibration place or store? Simply turn up your light and EMANATE — be the lighthouse, not the sponge, and others around you will do the same! We attract what we reflect. It’s all light and vibration. Find the reflector when it shows up and clear it, if you are holding it. You can’t change others, but you can clear the issue through healing yourself. Don’t exhaust yourself by trying to change other people. But you can change your experience of life if you clear your own energy. Some of us have a subconscious need for struggle. Release the need for struggle based on what your reflectors are. Clear your reflectors energetically, clear the heavy energy within and around you.
Sometimes you have to be still and go within to find out what the pattern is. Or, if you don’t find it, sometimes with the help of a Practitioner you’ll be able to locate the issue and work on it together in releasing it. Once you find it, dissolve, resolve, release and clear it, and make changes — go inside and turn up the light and clear it once and for all.
Allow yourself to look at the emotions and work through them. Raise your consciousness and send “your teachers” love anyways’; it allows you to move on, and out of the negative vibrations.
Think about when relationships end, there is usually a missing link. That can be romantically, friendships, or business relations, in general.
If there is no mutual love, respect, trust, or commitment from both sides there can be no real future in a relationship. Something will always be missing. If one of the links is missing, then it’s like a chain reaction. If one partner decides not to respect the other one, where is the commitment and love in the relationship? Or if the commitment from one partner is gone, where is the mutual love and respect? When boundaries are broken, it’s hard to move forward in a relationship. There needs to be genuine love and safety in a relationship. It’s a two-way street.
It does not mean you don’t love the other person in some shape or form anymore. If you learned your lesson and you are done with your soul contract, don’t feel bad if you walk away in dignity and let the other person live their life. Forgive yourself, and forgive the other person. It is okay to forgive and be forgiven and it’s okay to forgive yourself. It might take a while to get there. Don’t beat yourself up over what could have or should have been. Make an internal inventory, do your self-work, go within yourself, and see if you can live with broken trust or a broken commitment. For some people it might be possible to move forward in a relationship after one of the chains have been broken, that means that the soul contract is not done yet, or the lesson not learned yet. Forgive yourself anyways. Whatever you do, it’s okay! When the other person moves on and is not committed to you and no longer respects, trusts,or loves you anymore, it was about themselves and their insecurities, and had nothing to do with you. This is hard to accept sometimes; I know out of experience.
What I can tell you helped me in the past, is: Go within, feel the pain, work through it for as long as it may take you and then let the emotion go. Let your inner pilot light guide you in making the right decisions to move forward. Trinity Energy Progression™ has helped me work through a lot of pain and let go of a lot of reflectors.
Your inner voice always knows; you just have to be quiet enough to listen to it. With all the turmoil and other’s opinions around us, we don’t stop and trust our own Divine Light sometimes. Only you can live your life and decide what is best for you and the lessons you have come here to fulfill and learn; nobody else can do that for you. See past relationships, as painful as the end might have been, as the gift they really have been to you. See the lesson you learned from it and thank the Universe for it and move on without regret.
I learned a lot from my pets, especially my dog, about unconditional love and trust. Animals trust they will be fed and taken care of. They don’t worry about tomorrow. They live in the moment. They are happy to see you, even if they get the same food every day, and they never complain. They are grateful and they love you unconditionally anyway – even when you had a hard day, even if you feel insecure, not good enough, or just sad. They wag their tail when you come home. If it’s just been an hour or a day, they wait patiently by the door to greet you. They are committed to their family. We can learn a lot from our pets. Go with the flow, do what makes you happy.
Choose work that makes you happy, find your passion! Choose your partner wisely. Does he or she make your life even happier? If they walk in the door, do you get as excited to see them, as your dog is when you come home? Just think about it for a moment and let it sink in. If the answer is yes, then you are good; otherwise work on the issue. Or, just get a dog or cat, they love you unconditionally just the way you are! ? Bring balance in your life and remember the Divine Being you truly are. You deserve life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Let your light shine through in all that you do,
Facilitator, Trinity Energy Progression