Five words that could change the way you think about how we communicate and listen to the ones we love.
This past summer I had the privilege of attending a PSI (personal development) seminar. It was a wonderful experience that I was fortunate enough to attend with my spouse. There were interesting break-out exercises .that resulted in many personal insights. One of my favorite sessions was the “How can I love you” exercise.
How can I love you? Say this to your loved one and see what happens. Sit across from each other… hold hands and look into one another’s eyes. Just enjoy looking until you feel connected. You can whisper or ask out loud. How can I love you? Sit together in a safe space and be fully engaged in active listening. Fully and completely. Listen. Give your partner plenty of time to reply, as some may have never been asked and have to think about it. When your partners is done speaking… ask again How can I love you? Continue as guided. Change places. Does it feel empowering to clearly state how you feel? Was it easier to listen or speak? What a fun and creative way to fine- tune our personal relationships.
Trinity Energy Progression Facilitator/Practitioner
You always give love to others and try to support them, but one of the most important things you can do for others is to love yourself. When you totally accept who you are and forgive yourself for perceived wrongdoings in the past, you can truly start loving yourself. This shows in everything you do and say. You automatically attract others who want to be around you. They can feel your “positive energy” giving them a sense of calmness. Many of us believe that if we love ourselves, others will think we are boastful. This does not mean bragging about yourself, it just means being yourself and sharing the love with others. When you truly love yourself, you can give love unconditionally to others. You do not need someone to “complete you and make you happy”- you already have that from within. It is such a free feeling to be around someone who does not expect anything from you to win their affection.
This quote by Marianne Williamson https://marianne.com/ is one of my favorites in remembering how to love myself: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s for everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
You do not realize how much a kind word or action can mean to another person. The story ” A Simple Gesture” by John W. Schlatter tells of a boy in high school who was contemplating suicide. Another boy came by on his way home from school and helped him pick up some things he had dropped. They talked and became friends. He later told his friend that by his kind actions, he decided he wanted to live that day http://www.chickensoup.com/book-story/36173/a-simple-gesture
Recently a close friend of mine told me that my kindness in junior high school had a big influence on her life. I did not realize it at the time. I tend to talk to everyone- just ask anyone who knows me. By the simple act of being a friend who listens, I changed someone’s life. What more could you ask for in this earthly plane, than to make a real difference for someone else? It is amazing how wonderful people are, even the ones that don’t appear to be on the outside. If you take a little time to get to know them, you can learn and grow from everyone you meet.
When I was trying to decide whether to go to a workshop on publishing an e-book, I told a friend I didn’t have anything to write about. She said,”Yes you do! Do you know how much your behavior influences others?” I had double knee replacement 5 years ago and kept going to physical therapy, even though the pain was unbelievable, so I could go whitewater rafting on Class 5 rapids six months later. She told me that my actions made her determined to start walking and lose weight. She realized that her excuses were small compared to mine for not taking care of her health.
The next time you think a kind thought about how nice someone looks, how kind their smile is, or how they make you feel, tell them. It only takes a minute of your time. It could be a major impact on their lives. Never underestimate a smile or kind word – it is worth more than you know.
If you would like to begin your journey to self-love, I would suggest starting a 10-minute meditation practice daily. Begin your day with at least five things you are grateful for. Also, think of five things you love about yourself. Over time, it gets easier. The time you invest in yourself will be manifested in your life many times over.
Trinity Energy Progression Practitioner