Posted by: Angela Coulter | on March 12, 2018
As I attempt to write this article for all of you amazing beings, I find that my fear is building within my body, as the obligation to write this article has forced me out of my comfort zone and to step out of the closet. Which ironically, has been my statement or affirmation for 2018. I keep telling others that this is my year to do just that and be my true authentic self…but stepping out of the closet just doesn’t sound elegant or enough. Therefore, I have decided to affirm that I am breaking free from the chains that bind me (placed on myself) and keep me from being who I truly am meant to be. I am choosing to Be Me and Be Free. However, I must confess that actually putting myself out there for the whole world to see is quite scary and it’s easy to “write” this affirmation down but very different to truly act upon it.
Working in a corporate environment for years, I often find myself not being true to me, as I usually put the needs of others before myself. This most often has turned into unnecessary stress and illness. The stress and illness forced me to take a good hard look at my life, which led me to seek my spirituality. Through this, I’ve learned techniques and tools to assist in my survival in this environment. Typically, I’m able to keep my body (mainly hives) in a calm state using these techniques; however, when stress overload and/or not being my authentic self occurs, my body graciously reminds (or shouts out) for me to wake up and remember. I listen often; however, at times the fear gets the better of me and I shut down. I desperately seek to be my own unique self, speak my truth, and shine my light while not worrying what my colleagues or anyone for that matter will think of me and judge me.
A good friend recently told me that my job is to remove the fears that keep my light hidden. Wow. That really resonated with my soul as I can feel it when I dim my light down to make other people comfortable….including myself. Why did I do that? It’s time for me to allow. Do any of you ever feel like you adapt to make others comfortable?
So, how do I find the courage to keep my light shining strong, keep my vibration elevated at all times regardless of any situation (good or bad) and stand up/stand strong in my belief that I am best as my true authentic self? Fear has so many layers in me….where the heck does it all come from? Just when I think I’ve worked through and processed it, wham! Another layer. However, I know this is all part of my journey…and Trinity has assisted in my awakening. I am so very grateful to have had the amazing opportunity to travel to Mt. Shasta, CA this past September to attend the Trinity Facilitator training as this experience was life changing and assisted me in processing through so much fear, allowing me to accept and remember my divinity.
So, if you do not “get” anything else out of this blog, I hope you get this…when I do my daily self-work, I am able to shift and process through so much more “stuff.” Every single day and every single step, I get a little closer to living my truth. Stand in that mirror and look at your beauty. Tell yourself how much you love yourself, meditate, journal, say your creation statements. Invest in you…YOU are amazing and worth it!
I choose to do my daily self-work, to just be me and love myself unconditionally. It’s that simple. Fear or love….fear no longer serves me and I enthusiastically choose love…unconditional love, it’s my super power and it is yours…I encourage each of you to embrace your super power and live your truth…authentically. I Am!
I love you all fiercely!
Trinity Energy Progression Facilitator/Practitioner
Posted by: Angela Coulter | on February 26, 2018
I am inspired about a conversation we had in a Trinity Energy Progression Practitioner Share the other nigt. Conversation came up about how we are tired of the game, and that there is a reluctance within us to respond, engage or feel anything toward the 3D stage and all the absurdity that is being played out upon it. It feels that we are left with an apathetic shrug and descend from its drama. In this divergence we desire to be removed from the game all together. Though in this desire of disconnection from the plot and its set, it has severed connectivity to the deeper level of who we are. In here avails an opportunity to mend and grow from. This conversation awakened something similar within myself that I want to explore and understand. The following is my attempt to grasp meaning or understanding. In this place of finding meaning, I will bring tribute to my ego and mind, and give way for it to try to work it this out, before releasing or relinquishing the reigns of control to guidance and a higher or more valid principal of myself. Because of course, my right foot is still more firmly planted in 3D than my other foot is in the unknown. Hopefully, this next section will loosen that foothold and turn the balance to being brilliantly planted into the unknown.
We in the healing community find ourselves in a strange and unfamiliar place. In fact, we are so much in the place that we are, it is hard to look at it from another perspective. What am I talking about, you ask. This may resonate with you in some way. I hear from others in our circle, as well as experience and feel myself, the lackluster of this 3D being version of self. There is a veil that has been lifted that has taken away my innocence. The realization that there is no “Santa Claus” or that Barbie and Ken are only dolls or that this “reality” is nowhere in proximity of the truth to being real is creeping into my consciousness. Sure, I have “known” this for some time. But just like when I was 7, I knew that playing house may not be exactly the same as being a grown up. Though when that transition took place, it was so much more radical and different than I could comprehensively fathom. So here now, I find myself on the fence between two worlds. One foot is the drama-rich place of life and believing it is real, and the other foot is grazing the surface of the unknown. This is a frustrating place to be. A lot of trauma and drama is surfacing as I face this. How are you responding to it? I know I am not dealing so well. I am cocooning into a void much like an emotionally unavailable teenager retreating into their bedroom to avoid both the world they came from and the world they are expected to grow into. So yes, I am sulking, maybe many of us are. Though we are a bit more awake than the teenager, in that we can see that something is up. We could say in teenage vernacular that “life sucks” and “why me,” BUT we know that is not true. We are NOT alone and this not a self-centered me thing, but an US predicament. I believe we hear the phrase “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore!”
Yes, I understand, that this “hormonal”-like rush is taking place and that we are being positioned and made ready for the next stage. But here on this rolling scale (depending on the day and the hour), is a rage, an impatience, or an unimpressed vesicle who at the end of the day is just more and more blasé to it all. And friends, this is where I judge myself and say something just isn’t right about the loss of that loving feeling. This is where it resembles the antithesis of a what it may mean to be an energy healer. So, while being on the verge of an existential crisis, I’d like to step away from that ledge all together. And here is where I remember (or remind myself to remember to remember) that this is what happens when we give reign to the ego. That part who loves to hate the drama and hates to love the action of being hooked into this wild ride of unreason.
In taking a look at all this drama and coming to the realization that it is time to let go, it is also time to let go of the belief that there is futility in the act of letting go. And ok, I’ll say it, it is time for allowing the big shift to occur, the big step to take place, and the ultimate “get into our big girl/boy pants” moment is now. It is time to give our ego a big hug and huge expression of gratitude and thanks to all that it has done. But we acknowledge that its reign is over and we are attending the coronation where the so-called crown is to be placed upon our higher self, our connected self ,our all loving and trusting and knowing self. This is a new time and place where time is timeless and place is placeless. This is for our best, where we are truly free to be our most ultimate expression.
Thanks for the metaphorical journey (kool-aidless of course :-))! I love all of your bright lights. Eager to join you through this evolution and on our next level of being.
Posted by: Angela Coulter | on January 22, 2018
In this new cycle, or… New Year, many of us have been called to try new things; to do, be, create, think, express differently. To come out the comfort zone, come out of our shells or to spread the wings and fly. And, of course, I took it to heart and very personally! ?
I started going deep into childhood memories, my imaginary future possibilities and buried desires. Questioning myself: What else did I want to be/do when I grew up that I have not done yet?
That questioning brought me to this new experience. As I live this new exciting/challenging process of remembrance of being fully my Self, as myself and part of the Divine consciousness, I have felt confused and clear, frustrated and at peace…. all at the same time! But, I am committed to embracing it… fully!
Following guidance from within, from friends and family and from the loving nudges that God/ Universe/Source is giving me through my experiences, I chose to go for it and answer the calling to do something completely different.
Taking action upon opportunities, I found myself pursuing one of my very deep and quiet desires and loves… to learn to play an instrument.
As I child, I always imagined myself dancing and playing/rocking to this hypnotizing instrument… the guitar!!! Yes, like those female guitar/electric bass players… yep, just like that! ?
Even though I feel a have been living in a song, I’m super musically oriented as a dancer, and with a family full of musicians and performers, I could picture myself playing it, but (maybe because others did it or, because I felt I wasn’t cool enough) I didn’t seriously consider it an option, like I did with dance(which became a career). I never thought I would be brave enough to pick up a guitar to play it… especially now, years later!
It felt too familiar, yet too foreign to conceptualize it. It’s knowledge felt beyond me, yet very deeply rooted within my soul. An unexplainable connection; a deep feeling of respect to it, to its sound.
This idea of playing guitar took me to a point of discomfort and feelings of unworthiness. The thought of me creating music through this instrument felt embarrassing… the sound will come from my playing it? I am more familiar with being seeing, not heard (or so I thought).
It still feels uncomfortable and embarrassing, even though I have processed. Little by little… I’m getting over it. ?
So, me acting upon bravely and with a conflicted mind, I followed my intuition and guidance to find an instructor; it started as my son’s guitar instructor, who also plays. Then, buying a guitar(no name yet ?)… and then actually starting the lessons.
I dove right into my first lesson. And, with ZERO understanding of the instrument, I attentively listened to the instructor while a gazillion thoughts were processed in my mind. You might know some; thoughts like: “Me, not me… Ego please stop… I don’t get it! Be patience, have fun… why, I don’t get it…” On and on!
There I was… me! 10 minutes into it, I was on the verge of tears of frustration, trying to grasp the concepts of the guitar. I found even the most elemental concepts challenging… I still do; there was the quiet voice/energy saying, “Shh… Listen, imagine, be patient… You can do it!”
Then, the instructor started to explain the how’s. The string and the pressure of one’s touch, and how that creates the sound. Depending on where you place your fingers on the strings, different sounds one creates. Also, the sound gets higher in tones as you go down the neck of the guitar and vice versa… he lost me there a little bit!
Yes, awesome! yet… I didn’t get it.? Then he said, “Imagine a Circle.” Ahhh… ok! More confused, but I gave it a few breaths (practicing patience, thank you yoga).
All of a sudden, in my mind, I saw this circle tilt into a different perspective, looking at it diagonally. As I see another perspective, I start seeing a spiral moving higher, as it goes down the neck of the guitar. The strings being the spirals, showing me how the sound moves. And how this relates to me. Just like our experiences in life.
Imagining life as a circle… well, to me it looks like a never ending circle, where we experience things over and over again. Different scenario, same core issue; over and over… It is not until we see the loop for what it is, we wonder in an ego-based spiral of thoughts. Sometimes, we get sucked in to that flow. But, when we look at it from another angle, tilting that circle; the spiral shows up! I imagine it very similar to a DNA strand. That circle expands, like an accordion. There I can see the downward and upward spiral. The flow is there for us to flow in whatever direction we want. Within it, I can see how even the core issue shows up, as repeatedly as it might seem, the experiences are showing us its lessons; to learn and remember. I can choose from what perspective to see it. Seeing things in such a way, helps me to allow myself to observe it from a higher/different perspective every time. Allowing a deeper knowing and understanding of it so I can release, and expand. So I can evolve, grow, and learn the lesson. To let go with gratitude. Like a spiral of limitless possibilities, experiences, knowledge full of love, made by, with, to, and for Love. That’s how I’ve started to understand how the guitar works. And it feels amazing!
Back in 3D/guitar lesson, an hour-and-a-half went by in a blink of an eye! So fun!
Now, I have a better idea about guitars, how it works and how I relate to it. It’s fascinating!
The learning/play process… it’s a challenge I was able to choose. I’m feeling empowered and unafraid to mess up. I’m allowing myself to be vulnerable and allow a sound to come from me.
I choose to flow with the knowledge of the beautiful unknown, and allow myself to experience it, to the best and highest of my capabilities, feeling grateful and having fun.
To a new cycle… In allowance and acceptance… Going beyond… Being courageous… Being a lighthouse… Being!
Trinity Energy Progression Facilitator/Practitioner
Posted by: Angela Coulter | on January 8, 2018
Drawing out the most
Releasing the dross,
Each moment unfolds,
In effervescent tones.
A captivating sunset
A heart-wrenching embrace,
Of life-affirming spirit
Bursting through the dark,
An existential spark.
A cosmic centrifuge,
The fountain of life,
A lotus in the mud,
A beacon of light
At the heart of (the) matter
And always has been…
Posted by: Angela Coulter | on December 20, 2017
At the beginning of 2017, I selected a word that would set the tone for my upcoming year. It took only seconds for me to determine what my word was going to be. My word turned out to be guidance. (And no, the fact that I was guided to use the word guidance was not lost on me!)
What does guidance really mean? Certainly, it could be information received from those who care about you, those who seek to control you, or just a random person on the street. But to me guidance is the internal knowing that always seeks to steer you in the correct direction. Sometimes it is loud and glaring like a flashing neon sign, but at other times it is extremely subtle. In fact, in my experience, the subtle type is much more common.
Following your guidance isn’t always easy to do. For one thing, the subtle nudges we receive are easy to overlook or misinterpret. Or perhaps they seem inconsequential. (Tell me again – why do I need to buy this type of deodorant versus my normal brand?) And while the world might not end if you don’t buy the correct deodorant, following your guidance on a regular basis makes it easier for you to understand what you are being told or shown on future occasions, and it may help you when interpreting the guidance you receive later on with things that really do matter to you.
As we enter into the start of a new year, I encourage you to listen to your guidance and to follow it in all of the small ways and in all of the large ways – and everything in between – as much as you can. Each time you feel the tug, or a glimmer, or a gut feeling about something, even if it is about what brand of deodorant to buy, follow it and see where it leads. There have been many times when I’ve not known why I felt I should do something or say something, but I tended to be very pleasantly surprised by the results later on. That’s not to say that the results are always immediately apparent. Sometimes they aren’t. But by continuing to follow your guidance you will strengthen that bond so that you can recognize guidance when it happens, be open to receive even more of it in your life, and live more authentically.
I would love to hear if others have selected a word for the year, and to hear your experiences. What does your word mean to you? How do you believe it will show up in your life, or how has it already shown up in your life? Is it an active word requiring you to do something, or is it passive and you are to observe and watch and see what happens? I’m curious to see your results! Feel free to comment on this post and let me know. In the meantime, have fun, follow your guidance, and make 2018 the best year it can be. Something tells me you can do it!