Posted by: Angela Coulter | on November 2, 2017
We have definitely shifted into a different space. The trip I took to Mt. Shasta in September was so powerful that I haven’t been able to fully return into my former home reality. I no longer feel like there is a specific place that I can call home. I keep longing for something that I can’t put my finger on. I have this feeling I should move, but every time I think I’ve found a place that would be good, it doesn’t feel right and the search begins again. There doesn’t seem to be a place that captures what I’m feeling inside.
In addition, I’ve been faced with issues that I thought I had worked out. Feelings of victimization, self-loathing, abandonment, loneliness, judgment, not being heard, fear of confrontation, feelings of self- sacrifice, self-judgment, feelings of worthlessness. Heavy stuff, things that I didn’t realize were still profoundly affecting me. I mean, how much of this do I have inside? It feels insurmountable at times. I have been brought to my knees AGAIN. Almost every relationship showing me things to shift, but yet are so challenging to face. The relationship with my parents and siblings is at the moment the one that has been mirroring issues for me the most. I knew that I had been changed forever when in Shasta but I had underestimated how much. I really thought that I could come home, take a couple of weeks to re-acclimate and go back to my routine life. But that isn’t the case! There is no such thing as “going back to routine.” That time has passed, and I am writing this so that all who read this can find comfort in the fact that so many of us are currently feeling the same way. Everyone I’ve spoken with has a similar story. We are all being pushed so hard to step into our full Divinity, our Truth. So many mirrors being put up so that we don’t stop moving forward. The Universe is no longer waiting around! It’s been doing this for some time, I know, but I feel we’ve gone into warp speed over the last couple of months. When I can finally get my head above water, out of all those feelings of separation, I can see all of it from a higher perspective. In those moments of clarity… my goodness, how beautiful and perfect it all is!
It’s only when I get out of mind and sit in the vibration of Love, the vibration that is ME, that I get the clarity. That’s when I get the peace. Although, I have to say, those times have been few and far between. There are many days, moments within the day that I have to constantly remind myself to allow and flow, and man, that has been really hard to do! Ego is holding on with a death grip! It’s been a challenging time fighting it. The thought of just going back to the way I was would be so much easier… but that isn’t an option, because the feelings of being stagnant are even more terrifying than the self work, which I know will end in something wonderful.
The perfection is that all of the things that I am being shown are exactly what’s standing in my way of true self-love, and it is only through this that we will be able to do what we came here to do. It’s only when we get through every last thing that gets in the way of loving ourselves completely as the perfect Divine beings we are, that we’ll be able to go forward without fear or doubt or anything and be exactly what we were created to be, pure Love. Love that knows no boundaries. Love that encompasses all. Love that is our Oneness. Love that needs no words, or thoughts, or physicality. Love that will just Be, Be the Divine that we already are but we can’t yet see because of all the blinders we’ve put up. They are falling away. This is what we are all being pushed to realize. Because there is no work to do really; that’s just an illusion. Everything we are being shown for us to shift are just messages to ourselves, reminders, the bread crumbs we have left so we can find our way back. All of it so we can remember WE ARE already all of it. We are the Divine. We are Perfect. We are ALL.