Tag: numb

 

Bored? Detached? Consciously (Un)Familiar Territory

I am inspired about a conversation we had in a Trinity Energy Progression Practitioner Share the other nigt.  Conversation came up about how we are tired of the game, and that there is a reluctance within us to respond, engage or feel anything toward the 3D stage and all the absurdity that is being played out upon it. It feels that we are left with an apathetic shrug and descend from its drama. In this divergence we desire to be removed from the game all together. Though in this desire of disconnection from the plot and its set, it has severed connectivity to the deeper level of who we are. In here avails an opportunity to mend and grow from. This conversation awakened something similar within myself that I want to explore and understand. The following is my attempt to grasp meaning or understanding. In this place of finding meaning, I will bring tribute to my ego and mind, and give way for it to try to work it this out, before releasing or relinquishing the reigns of control to guidance and a higher or more valid principal of myself. Because of course, my right foot is still more firmly planted in 3D than my other foot is in the unknown.  Hopefully, this next section will loosen that foothold and turn the balance to being brilliantly planted into the unknown.

We in the healing community find ourselves in a strange and unfamiliar place.  In fact, we are so much in the place that we are, it is hard to look at it from another perspective. What am I talking about, you ask. This may resonate with you in some way. I hear from others in our circle, as well as experience and feel myself, the lackluster of this 3D being version of self. There is a veil that has been lifted that has taken away my innocence. The realization that there is no “Santa Claus” or that Barbie and Ken are only dolls or that this “reality” is nowhere in proximity of the truth to being real is creeping into my consciousness. Sure, I have “known” this for some time. But just like when I was 7, I knew that playing house may not be exactly the same as being a grown up. Though when that transition took place, it was so much more radical and different than I could comprehensively fathom. So here now, I find myself on the fence between two worlds. One foot is the drama-rich place of life and believing it is real, and the other foot is grazing the surface of the unknown. This is a frustrating place to be.  A lot of trauma and drama is surfacing as I face this. How are you responding to it? I know I am not dealing so well. I am cocooning into a void much like an emotionally unavailable teenager retreating into their bedroom to avoid both the world they came from and the world they are expected to grow into. So yes, I am sulking, maybe many of us are. Though we are a bit more awake than the teenager, in that we can see that something is up. We could say in teenage vernacular that “life sucks” and “why me,” BUT we know that is not true. We are NOT alone and this not a self-centered me thing, but an US predicament.  I believe we hear the phrase “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore!”

Yes, I understand, that this “hormonal”-like rush is taking place and that we are being positioned and made ready for the next stage. But here on this rolling scale (depending on the day and the hour), is a rage, an impatience, or an unimpressed vesicle who at the end of the day is just more and more blasé to it all. And friends, this is where I judge myself and say something just isn’t right about the loss of that loving feeling. This is where it resembles the antithesis of a what it may mean to be an energy healer.  So, while being on the verge of an existential crisis, I’d like to step away from that ledge all together.  And here is where I remember (or remind myself to remember to remember) that this is what happens when we give reign to the ego.  That part who loves to hate the drama and hates to love the action of being hooked into this wild ride of unreason.

In taking a look at all this drama and coming to the realization that it is time to let go, it is also time to let go of the belief that there is futility in the act of letting go. And ok, I’ll say it, it is time for allowing the big shift to occur, the big step to take place, and the ultimate “get into our big girl/boy pants” moment is now.  It is time to give our ego a big hug and huge expression of gratitude and thanks to all that it has done. But we acknowledge that its reign is over and we are attending the coronation where the so-called crown is to be placed upon our higher self, our connected self ,our all loving and trusting and knowing self.  This is a new time and place where time is timeless and place is placeless.  This is for our best, where we are truly free to be our most ultimate expression.

Thanks for the metaphorical journey (kool-aidless of course :-))!  I love all of your bright lights.  Eager to join you through this evolution and on our next level of being.

Namaste,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dee Jones
Trinity Energy Progression Facilitator/Practitioner