I have to admit, I feel up against a wall. I have been rushing toward opening up and allowing myself to feel free flowing happiness, love, laughter, content, joy, bliss, sheer BEingness and then…WOMP. I found myself pressed against the wall. All those wondrous feelings, states of being, mind satisfying vibrations seem to be on the other side of the wall. I know they are all there. I feel so close…a breath, a hair, an instant away, but this darn block is preventing me from melting, joining, receiving, transforming to it.
I do not feel disappointed that it is not so. I feel confused. I look upon it as a dog cocking its head in puzzled confusion. I am engaged with this mystery in a sense of loving wonderment. I sense a strangeness or a weirdness as to why this is so. It feels like typing a password into the computer and nothing happens. So we type it in again expecting it allow us entrance, and then nope, nothing. Nothing changed. It may have been awhile since last tapping in. Is it possible we forgot? No, we wrote it down. Questions surface, did I change it? Did it expire? Is something wrong? I know I know this. What is going on? And there it is. It is the questioning of what is really going on and why is this so. The thinking part of the mind so at grip to this.
The softer side, emerges and says let it go, let it just be. Remove the force of the thought against it. Lay back and drift with it. Let go and allow it to just become one with us.
This translates to me as taking a step away and allowing it to come from the peripheral. I have been focusing too hard on the need, the desire, and willfulness to make it so. So it is time to step away from the wall for a moment to allow the necessary space. I allow the natural connection with the other side and to become one with it. That feels right. That feels so.
Meditation and energy work is such an important part of my day, my life and experience. It works so delicately and without confines. It reminds me that I do not have to direct or do anything in the how to make it so. Remembering and practicing this is all I need do. All is well with this.
Namaste, happiness and joy to all,