Tag: self love
As the Holidays race towards me, I am finding it harder to do my self-care. Which makes it harder to create the Holiday I want for me and my family. I have decided to focus my energy on the ideas and things that bring me joy and warm memories. That goes for traditions as well as decorations. In fact, I am broadly applying that to every object in my house!! I am also reminding myself, as often as necessary, that anyone’s dissatisfaction comes from their expectations or believed needs and have nothing to do with me!
I am protecting my space as well, by continuing with my self care routines, even if they get shortened. I need to remind myself that simple things like brushing my teeth, washing my face and showering ARE self care! Another version of self care is watching what I say to myself. I have replaced “Man, I have way too much to do!” With “I have more than enough time to accomplish everything I desire.” It really shifts how my day plays out. I also find that if I think of the things I do for myself, like meals, relaxation time, and sleeping, with the same intent I would have if I were caring for a child or friend, it comes from a much more meaningful place and the results are much more powerful. A very simple self-care example is muting commercials while you watch TV. What a difference this makes! I also make sure I surround myself with things that bring me joy in my sleeping space. For me it is oils in my diffuser that relax me, my favorite Lemurian crystal on my nightstand and that I have an extra blanket handy if I need it during the night. My meal preparation and planning has also been revamped to reflect the notion of joy and warm memories. I don’t make things just because my family always has. I realize that is craziness. I also ask for help when things get busy. I realize that is a way to make more joy and warm memories and that it isn’t a sign of weakness!
All and all I have a much better outlook going in to these Holiday than ever before. I am creating them differently and completely based in joy and love for everyone including myself!!
Trinity Energy Progression Instructor/Practitioner
You always give love to others and try to support them, but one of the most important things you can do for others is to love yourself. When you totally accept who you are and forgive yourself for perceived wrongdoings in the past, you can truly start loving yourself. This shows in everything you do and say. You automatically attract others who want to be around you. They can feel your “positive energy” giving them a sense of calmness. Many of us believe that if we love ourselves, others will think we are boastful. This does not mean bragging about yourself, it just means being yourself and sharing the love with others. When you truly love yourself, you can give love unconditionally to others. You do not need someone to “complete you and make you happy”- you already have that from within. It is such a free feeling to be around someone who does not expect anything from you to win their affection.
This quote by Marianne Williamson https://marianne.com/ is one of my favorites in remembering how to love myself: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s for everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
You do not realize how much a kind word or action can mean to another person. The story ” A Simple Gesture” by John W. Schlatter tells of a boy in high school who was contemplating suicide. Another boy came by on his way home from school and helped him pick up some things he had dropped. They talked and became friends. He later told his friend that by his kind actions, he decided he wanted to live that day http://www.chickensoup.com/book-story/36173/a-simple-gesture
Recently a close friend of mine told me that my kindness in junior high school had a big influence on her life. I did not realize it at the time. I tend to talk to everyone- just ask anyone who knows me. By the simple act of being a friend who listens, I changed someone’s life. What more could you ask for in this earthly plane, than to make a real difference for someone else? It is amazing how wonderful people are, even the ones that don’t appear to be on the outside. If you take a little time to get to know them, you can learn and grow from everyone you meet.
When I was trying to decide whether to go to a workshop on publishing an e-book, I told a friend I didn’t have anything to write about. She said,”Yes you do! Do you know how much your behavior influences others?” I had double knee replacement 5 years ago and kept going to physical therapy, even though the pain was unbelievable, so I could go whitewater rafting on Class 5 rapids six months later. She told me that my actions made her determined to start walking and lose weight. She realized that her excuses were small compared to mine for not taking care of her health.
The next time you think a kind thought about how nice someone looks, how kind their smile is, or how they make you feel, tell them. It only takes a minute of your time. It could be a major impact on their lives. Never underestimate a smile or kind word – it is worth more than you know.
If you would like to begin your journey to self-love, I would suggest starting a 10-minute meditation practice daily. Begin your day with at least five things you are grateful for. Also, think of five things you love about yourself. Over time, it gets easier. The time you invest in yourself will be manifested in your life many times over.
Trinity Energy Progression Practitioner
The things I like (mostly music, a few TV series), I like to collect. I’m a moderate completist. I like to have everything by a band and listen to their creative arc over and over. I have a few friends who are just as nutty as I am about this and we can talk about this stuff for hours.
When I was preparing to move out on my own (a two-year process), I started to get rid of things. I held onto everything usually, but I knew it was time to unload stuff and I was ready. That act is still with me. Music is the best example; I buy an album, enjoy it for years, don’t listen to it for a couple of years, get rid of it, then a few years later I “remember” how much I enjoyed it and buy it again and possibly go through the same cycle again. Having something taking up space bothered me after a while and I would feel a drive to clear out some of it that, at the time, I felt I could do without.
It wasn’t until after my marriage, and moving to NC, that I noticed I was doing that in relationships. I didn’t start dating until then. I never thought I was the type of person who hunted and gathered. I thought I collected and enjoyed, but somewhere the happiness of the having paled with the thrill of the hunt. Facebook is the biggest example of this; how many people do you know who “collect” friends? It was transient behavior that lacked any real connection. It didn’t stop me from being myself, but I wasn’t myself as much as I wanted to be.
Hunting is a primal behavior done for survival. I don’t need music for survival, though I certainly felt I couldn’t live without it. I didn’t need to be married, or how I was feeling it, for someone to agree to marry me, for my survival, but I felt I did at that time. I didn’t hunt for a wife; we crossed paths and we both initiated. I collected someone who made me feel I loved myself. She probably collected me also. Did I love her? Yes, but it took me a while because I didn’t love myself and I feel the same thing was happening with her. We learned together.
The having has taken me much longer to appreciate. Why would this be so? If I have something or someone enter my life that I wanted, why does the having feeling only last a short time? Because the material object or person was not what I really wanted. It made me feel good, but what I really wanted was to feel a deep connection. Ironically, this behavior drove me away from the one thing I wanted a deeper connection with; myself.
With the exception of when I was married, if the amounts of time I was involved in a relationship and when I was single were flipped, it would look like I can’t be on my own; that I always had to have someone. But it’s not that way. I’m single for long stretches and involved for brief periods. I asked myself while out on a walk, “Why this is?” Somewhere in that walk, the answer came to me: I keep myself single more often so I can always be in a state of hunting. So my life looked like this:
It’s a true addictive behavior. Soon enough, the happy part disappears and pretty soon, so does the having, as I got farther away from my spiritual source. When I look back, I really see it was happening in my marriage too. My wife at that time noted to me more than once that it felt like we’d become more like roommates than a married couple. She was right. But there was something deeper going on that I hadn’t realized until I turned this blog in. I had to add this because this was behind it all: I felt I didn’t deserve anything. No matter how sincere I was or how much I believed, there was a part of me that overrode everything: “I don’t care how much you love this person, or how much you believe what you believe; you don’t deserve it.” That’s why the hunting always happened; it was covering a constant state of not deserving.
When I took the Trinity Energy Progression™, the biggest part of it was about unconditional love…of yourself! If someone were to ask me at that time if I loved myself, there would’ve been a pause and not a very enthusiastic answer; “Yeah, I guess so.” With Trinity, I pushed through that and sooner than I expected; I could say that I did love myself and knew what that actually felt like.
But this habit still remained in my life. It wasn’t until a year-and-a-half after taking Trinity that all of this came into conscious thought as I was preparing (notice another preparation) to take the Facilitators retreat to Mt. Shasta in California (July 2015). I notice now that it wasn’t until I typed the above sentence that I realized I am repeating the same process I did when I moved out of the house I grew up in; getting rid of the stuff I don’t use anymore so moving will be easier. But this time there’s a twist; it’s not material things, it’s behaviors and concepts that I have outgrown. I am moving out of my old consciousness and into my new one but I won’t be returning to them and therefore, will break the cycle. My ego is feeling the ‘empty nest’ like my mom did; ‘Will I exist if I am not doing what you asked me to do?’ The answer is yes you will exist and in a much higher and brighter way than you ever imagined.
Emotions and behaviors are like this: by doing what you’re doing, they can be pointing out what the issue is. The drive to hunt pointed to a deep feeling of not deserving what I hunted for. That’s how emotions and behaviors can work. They are circular. Always ask yourself why you are really doing what you’re doing. It could reveal a deeper drive that is unconscious. When you bring those to light; your life is yours to live again.
The way to balance all of this is to love myself unconditionally. Nothing external is needed. It’s true that I can’t go home again because I never left it. It was always inside just waiting to be remembered.
Many, that begin or wish to expand the spiritual part of their life, want or expect things to happen in particular ways.
When I began my journey, I wanted many of the same things. I wanted to be able to “see visions” and “talk to spirits”. Also, I had recently gone through an experience that had caused a lot of deep soul pain to surface. “I want this pain gone now!” I would think to myself.
In my experience, although issues are able to be instantaneously released, these issues take time to heal. It depends on how deep they are, and how many agreements, beliefs, or contracts that you have that cause you to hold onto the issues causing the pain or discomfort.
I spent at least a year in deep soul pain because it was on such a deep level; it often came in waves. Some days, I would be depressed but able to function. Other days, I would barely be able to function normally. I would have to excuse myself to the rest room and cry at least every hour. I began getting frustrated that it wasn’t all healed. I was upset that when anything reminded me of the trauma; I would feel as if I was right back where I started.
Turns out this was because although I was healing, it was slowly. I wasn’t able to see the changes day by day. But, if I ever took the moment to look back a month, or a couple months, I would notice a significant difference. I would look back in my journal and read some of the older entries. I would think to myself “wow, I was really messed up, I am so much better now.”
I also recall being obsessed with answers, and visions that other people would have while doing Trinity Energy Progression™ sessions on me. I would hang on every word. I was so obsessed with the person that had caused the trauma. “Will everything be ok? Will we be friends again!? Should I call them?” I would ask these questions every day. I was obsessed with this person and obsessed with everything working out right then and there.
I had to realize that it was because of my own lack of self love. I did not love myself enough and felt that I had to get it from others. I began working on that core issue. I also discovered that I had many walls that I had put up to protect myself. Part of the pain was from the walls being taken down. This can be very scary and painful for those that aren’t aware of what it happening. I recall felling as if I was being backed into a corner (emotionally), even though everything in my physical life was fine. Many things began changing. Slowly at first, but the more time went by, the faster the changes and healing occurred. My habits changed, my way of thinking changed, and even my reaction to things changed.
I also learned, that it is okay to “not be okay”. When things came up, I would often become upset; and, I was upset for being upset, which only escalated the problem. I would be upset for being angry or sad or afraid. Now, I understand that it is okay. When things like that come up, it is so it can be healed. I am now able to look at it without giving it power, and without it influencing my behavior (for the most part). I even find that it takes too much energy to stay mad or upset.
I have also been able to “see” as others have, such as psychic visions while doing Trinity Energy Progression sessions. I have also been able to mediate much more easily. This, indeed, took some time and practice.
So, if you are becoming frustrated or tired that you have not obtained the results that you want from this work, then take a moment to look back, and truly see how much you have changed. It is okay to “not be okay”. Be kind to yourself. It is a process and it is different for everyone.
Facilitator, Trinity Energy Progression