Tag: spiritual growth

 

Wounds Can Teach Us About Self-Love

Many of us lack self-love, because we don’t attend to our wounds. We all have them. Some wounds are so intense they become traumatic, sometimes relegated to becoming a dark secret that we don’t want to look at, not to mention even talk about in our society.  What if they are crying out for our acceptance, and to be loved so we can heal?

Culturally we are afraid of wounds. Afraid that they will define us, afraid they make us “less than”, afraid of the judgements of others. We’re afraid of drudging up sad memories, afraid that if we deal with them, we’ll become overwhelmed, stuck in depression, afraid that we’ll never heal. Such conditioning lends itself to the problem that we don’t love ourselves.

A doe and her fawn shyly peek out from behind tree.

The heart is curious and shy.

And it’s true, if we don’t look at them, we will never heal. If we don’t include the wound as a part of the whole that we are, we’ll never know our true potential. Largely we also don’t love ourselves in our culture.  As Jelualudin Rumi said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” How could this be?

This quote hounded my thoughts like an intriguing mystery or befuddling koan. Many years into my healing journey, I purchased a bracelet with Rumi’s quote engraved upon it. I pondered it when old torments visited my mind, and where I felt these wounds – in my heart.

Thus I began to stalk my heart as if she were a white-tailed doe I wanted to befriend. When she was shy, I just sat with her, observing.  Sometimes I waited and she didn’t show up, unsure that I would really be there. Eventually, I noticed how my heart felt interacting with different people. I could see when she was open, and when she was closed. I took extra care when my heart felt tender.  Like leaving corn out for deer, I began feeding my heart more experiences that made her sing. Soon, she felt that acceptance and showed up with a family of old wounds that needed tending to, shyly asking for more.

The wounding in my heart taught me how to be kind to myself, how to love myself. Because I allowed myself to follow the threads of inspiration, things that I loved, my heart burst wide open. I spent untold amounts of time in nature, and continue to do so. Instead of dwelling on loneliness, I learned to accept it, and now love the time I spend alone. Meanwhile, I took myself as a lover. I studied ancient and new spiritual practices.

Throughout my journey, I learned that the more I shared what I had perceived to be “dark secrets” with others, the more I found our common humanity. By accepting my own wounding with unconditional love, I can learn to be present for that in others. Because I learned to lovingly be with my darkness, my heart has become lighter, fuller. By embracing my wounds with love, I learned to “let the light enter” after all.

Colleen Kendrick, Trinity Energy Practitioner

 

 

Wisdom Awakening

I’ve had several experiences recently that reminded me of my spiritual evolution. As more and more people become spiritually aware, I find myself in conversations with them and all of sudden I’m the one who is imparting words of wisdom or nodding my head when they tell me about some ‘strange’ experience they’ve had. I wondered when that had happened – when had the roles reversed and I was no longer the new initiate (for lack of a better term)?  Of course I am still constantly seeking more information and guidance, but it is now at a higher level than it once was and I seem to be filling a new role.

How Far We Have Come

This new role, or rather the new me, is great!  I can tell that I have truly grown as a person. I no longer feel like I need to shield myself for protection or carry a ton of crystals around with me like I did when I first started down this path. Now I simply allow negative energy to flow past me. I don’t get as caught up in daily stresses. I try to see the good in people even when it looks to all the world like the person doesn’t have any. I think it is this openness that has brought even more wonderful things into my life.

Monarch by Colby Hall

As those of you who have followed my blog posts know, I am very interested in nature and gardening and the creatures of this world. You probably also know that I raise butterflies. This year, I have been blessed with many black swallowtail butterfly eggs, and for the first time since my childhood, a monarch butterfly stopped by to visit. I cannot tell you the joy I felt at seeing that little butterfly as she flitted around my flowers and milkweed plants. It seems like the Universe was saying “See! When you open yourself up to the world, the world will show up!” It’s a hard lesson to learn. Especially lately when it is easy to fall into patterns of negative thinking, wanting to hide from the world, or to lash out at it. But if you can remember who you are at your core and allow all of the rest to flow around you while you remain observant of it but not mired in the thick of it, then you can remain open to the very best that this world has to offer. I’ve done my best to share this lesson with those who have come to me recently asking questions and beginning their own exploration. I think it will serve them well, and will ultimately help the world become the positive, compassionate, joyous place we know it can be. I urge you to take a look at yourself and see how you react to daily life. And if you need a little more light, try opening yourself up more to the great things this world has to offer. I bet you won’t be disappointed.

 

Colby Hall
Trinity Energy Progression Facilitator/Practitioner