Today has been a mixed bag. I have a tightly scheduled life at the moment, and today things haven’t quite gone the way I had needed – and expected – them to go. The biggest issue was computer related and completely out of my control. A computer program hosted by my work – isn’t working! When this happens, I at once feel angry and heated and frustrated and stressed. Yes, all of those things at once. It throws off my whole schedule, you see. If I’m not able to work during these hours, I don’t know how I’ll be able to get all of my other commitments done. I’m limited both by the set hours that I am actually able to work on the other commitments and by the number of hours in a day. Not to mention my own needs such as sleep and retaining my sanity. So this morning I let my emotions well up and I indulged in them for a few minutes. Then, I stopped.
I took a breath.
I reminded myself that these types of issues have arisen in the past, and I’ve dealt with them. The world hasn’t ended.
In the past, when I’ve accepted what has happened and trusted that it will all work out, it has. I’m sure it will again this time. When you truly surrender your worries and trust that it will all work out, the Universe has a miraculous way of making that happen. I’ve given up trying to know how it will all work out, or planning what I can shift around to “make” it all fit into my week. I’ve stopped having that panicky feeling and tightness of chest; instead, I am grateful for the day and the unexpected break it has given me. I could certainly choose to feel all of those unpleasant feelings again and worry and fret over the situation, but I would rather choose the peace and calm of not knowing how it will all work out and yet trusting that it will. Now I have time to do some things that I didn’t think I would be able to do this week, such as read a book I’ve been wanting to read! I’ve also thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my cat, feeding nuts to the squirrels, and watching the baby birds hop around my patio. I would have missed all that if I had spent my time worrying and fretting.
So if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, stop and take a breath. Become still and go within. Allow yourself to completely surrender your worries, fears, and anything else that comes up for you. Trust that everything will work out. Understand that you may not know how this will happen, but that you don’t need to know. When you’ve reached the point that you completely trust that things will be okay, go enjoy the rest of your day with the knowledge that it is being taken care of for you.
As for me, my computer program still isn’t working, so I’m going to go plant some flowers and be happy. It will all work out fine. Thank you, Universe!
Fasting, releasing, letting go, removing blocks which prevent our light to shine, removing masks and discarding our shadow lives and being in full bloom to show up as authentic self. If I were unafraid, I would let go of all my masks, all props, costumes, scripts, all ego created beliefs and BE.
I am pondering why I have created such a tight grip to holding onto the show. Even though I know that letting go leads to something a whole lot better than my ego can imagine, I still resist and I hold back. I am watching this tennis match between my ego and a wall. Watching and believing that my ego can champion over a wall. A wall which only is the reflective action the ego imposes upon it. Yet even knowing that this is not real, I am holding onto it as if it is. There is still so much resistance upon letting go.
I want so much to remember, remember my true authentic being. My prayers, meditations, readings, writings, healings, and thoughts all focus on this. I remind myself daily or more often than that to “wake up” … to “remember” … to “let go and trust” … and to “be in faith”. Some moments, many moments, my patience turns and annoyance and aggravation become me and questions of doubt and uncertainty pour out. The questions spill, “why can’t I just wake up, why is this taking so long, what the heck” and so on and so forth. Then snap, my mind pivots and I attend to “it is time to refocus, time to heal, time to sit with that and reveal what the hold up within myself is.”
An answer bubbles up to the surface and shows that I am in grief and misery and terribly miss knowing that I will forget all this. When I wake up and step into my truth and being that I am, I will have no memory at all of this dream world of this enchanted, exotic, wild, exciting, ego trip that I have been experiencing since the apple was eaten and this hallucination begun. That I hold onto. I hold onto wanting to remember this and that. Something tells me that both cannot be remembered. It feels like something of the flavor of “we cannot serve two masters.” I am torn, as I know it is time to step into the fullness and all that I am, but darn it all I do not want to forget this wild story. My sentimentality and love for this imagined creation is still strongly entrenched in my being. I am hitting the snooze bar for 5 more minutes, I am enjoying this dream.
Along comes the siren with a lullaby and it sweetly sings that it does not have to be all or none, not right away. This is a finely tuned web of beliefs after all; and here negotiating, the ego is at work and says, “you know you can have your cake and eat it too.” But of course we can stall. We can take an evolutionary step and yet still be present with this 3D dream. The drum rolls, and the reveal is that we can BE AWAKE within the dream. Interesting, this is a precarious position for the ego. I am surprised it is willing to take a step in this presence. For the ego, this is like standing on the ledge of a cliff and all of a sudden the other side of the earth falls away leaving the ego balancing itself on a pinnacle of land for support without much leeway or wiggle room for roaming or moving about. It looks bleak for the ego now with nowhere left to go. It is reduced to its final frontier and left to dissolve into I…..
I am afraid to let my imaginary friend go is what it boils to, and in irony it is my imaginary friend who is afraid to be imagined, to be let go, as my imagined sense is making this so. It is confusing to be insane. It is now time to let go of the insanity within. Know now it is time to turn within and connect to source and release and heal and receive the Truth of that in which we are.
Peace and Love to all. See ya on the other side where though there is no word for it, I believe it points way beyond awesomenesssss!
Facilitator, Trinity Energy Progression™
These last several years of my life have probably been some of the most incredible times, other than the birth of my son, in my entire life. I have always been very spiritual but did not know what that meant nor did I understand the implications of it. Throughout my life I was presented with situations; I always knew what I needed to do and never questioned why or other possibilities. One of the most amazing things to come out of this type of lifestyle is that I ended up helping raise three beautiful young ladies that have made my life so much richer just by them letting me be a part of their lives. I was also gifted with an amazing son that challenged me every step of the way of him becoming an adult. We both survived; he is now a wonderful adult.
I was introduced to the Spiritual with one Reiki session. That was all it took. I had no knowledge what “being spiritual” was but I knew that was going to be my path in life. Like all of the other times I was presented with a new situation, I followed my guidance. I studied and became a Reiki Master; I learned more about the Spiritual. Then in 2012 it came to me that I would be leaving the West Palm Beach (WBP), FL area which I had lived in since I was about ten months old. I would be leaving three of my kids, two of my grandkids, my elderly mother, a sister, and a lot of very special friends. I did not have the financial means to move so I put out to the Universe that if I really was supposed to go, “they” would have to make it happen. In a totally unexpected way, the finances fell into place and I had the money to move. At first I was clueless as to what this meant but eventually the opportunity became available for me to move to the Raleigh, North Carolina area; I moved in July of 2013. I picked and rented a house in Apex, North Carolina via the internet without actually seeing the house, packed my stuff, and moved.
After moving up here one of the first things I did was find someone to get Reiki sessions from as that was very important to me at the time. I made several trips back to WPB a few times right after I moved for family events that were going on. I visited my Spiritual Mentor on one of the visits and she asked me if I had found a group to get involved with, and I told her no. She made me promise that I would find one. After returning home, I opened the local Spiritual Meetup listings and was scrolling down looking at the different groups that were having meetings. I was drawn to one that Angela (Coulter, Trinity Originator) was having at her house which I actually attended. This was so out of my box and personal comfort zone, by the way. That was the beginning of an amazing 2014 year for me. After attending the meeting, it came to me that I needed to get to know Angela better. I attended a Trinity Energy Progression™ Open House in November and then took the Trinity Energy Progression Practitioners Class in January 2014. My life was changed forever again.
While in the class I met many wonderful Trinity Energy Progression Practitioners and students. I found that I was part of a Spiritual family which is coming together again. At that class I met Linda Grimm; and was guided to find out more about what she did spiritually. In addition to being a Trinity Energy Progression Practitioner, Linda is a ThetaHealer and Teacher among many other spiritual gifts. So I was guided to take the ThetaHealing® Basic then Advanced program. Out of the blue, after I had registered for ThetaHealing classes Angela presented me with an opportunity to go to Mt. Shasta for the Facilitator’s class which was really unbelievable in so many ways. I did not meet the prerequisites to train for the Trinity Energy Progression Facilitators class. Angela briefly entertained the idea that she may take additional students. It came to me that I really needed to attend the Facilitators training so I just let her know that if she did decide to enlarge the group that I was interested. She told me a little while later that she had decided not to take additional students. I was disappointed; Again I sent it out to the Universe that if I was supposed to go, “they” had to make it happen. That is what is so amazing about just letting the Universe settle things for you.
In 2014, this is where my spiritual journey took me – January I trained as a Trinity Energy Progression Practitioner; in May I trained in Theta Healing Basic; in June I trained in Theta Healing Advanced. Then, as it turned out in July I went to Mt. Shasta to train as a Trinity Facilitator. Somehow I had gotten on the spiritual fast track. Man, what a ride it has been. Trinity Energy Progression and Theta Healing are both amazingly beautiful energies, and I knew I needed to train in both. I’m still not totally sure why or where it will all lead but I am just following my guidance and growing each day with the beauty of it all.
My life, though awesome, was extremely challenging and difficult. Every one of us has challenging lives but we all carry the baggage differently. I began working on myself with the help of my mentors and new-found soul family as well as all of my new energies that I now have as part of me. The tools are amazing; I learn new things about myself and my spiritual life every day. I started forgiving myself and letting go of so much that I carried. These energies have allowed me to become more of the spiritual person I am supposed to be. I have had several very important changes for the better in my physical health since I have been forgiving myself and others, and letting it all go. I still have a ways to go but am moving forward every day. I do trust that the Universe has my back and will guide me in all that I do; I always have even when I didn’t realize it, and that is an amazing thing to know now that I understand it so much better. The Spiritual and the Universe are amazing and will take care of us if we just trust and let it.
Facilitator, Trinity Energy Progression™