Tag: unconditional love

 

The Mirrors of Reality

Art installation of mirrors as standing stones on the beach

Mirrors as Standing Stones on the Canary Island Coast

In every challenging period of my life I have chosen to hunker down, check out and deal with things on my own. It was my belief that there really wasn’t anyone who really wanted to listen to what I was going through. Everyone else had their own struggles. Why would they want to listen to me when I was at my lowest? So I would watch TV to numb myself, isolate myself from all the people who cared about me, complain about how rough I had it and then make believe everything was okay.

Most of the time this would carry me over until the next challenging time, but I would make minimal movement towards really seeing/healing what was causing me so much suffering. It wasn’t until I started practicing Trinity that I realized that those challenging moments were ME showing ME what needed to shift so I could come to remembrance of Authenticity. However, I must admit, I hadn’t really committed to a consistent practice until recently.

I knew what the commitment was in theory but I was always drawn back to my usual way of doing things because it felt comfortable.  Actually, taking responsibility and making the time to see what I needed to do for myself seemed like too much effort. Growing up,  I was spoon fed how to be a victim and it felt SO GOOD. Blaming someone or something else felt awesome because I didn’t have to step up to the plate. I could just hide behind the hurt and the blame and throw stones from a safe distance.

But here’s the thing: The effort it takes to stay in those old patterns is so much more draining than the effort to take responsibility and shift into courage and acceptance! Yes, some of the things we have to look at are truly uncomfortable for us to acknowledge and witness and feel, but we have a choice in what to do.

All of these aspects of me that I have committed not to run away from are qualities that make me cringe. Pieces of me that I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge for such a long time. Right now I’m seeing the mirrors I have put up for myself everywhere. Everything in our reality can be a mirror for growth, if we choose to look at those pieces reflected back to us. Since we are ultimately ALL One, our reality reflects aspects of ourselves “in the mirror” to look at and grow from. My goodness, have I’ve been giving myself messages!

And now, I have decided to truly listen, be fully aware and bring those parts back to love and acceptance. This process has been so difficult as I’m sure it is for most of us. Every piece of unworthiness has come up for me. Every bit of lack. Every bit of “Not Enough”. Every bit of self-loathing. In every situation I have set up, there’s a reflection! There are moments when it feels like that’s all I am, these “less than” pieces. I think, “Will I ever fully remember my Authentic Divine Self? I’m so broken, what’s the use? How will I ever be everything I was created to be when I have so much to undo?”

In the past, I would have given up. I would have manifested an illness so I had the inarguable excuse to check out and hunker down. Chosen something to numb my feelings of unworthiness and fear, isolated myself because I would believe, “Who would love someone so broken and weak?” and hoped it would turn around. Starting to repeat the old patterns of “victim extraordinaire”… this time I knew I had to choose differently.  This time, I would not give up on my commitment to wholeness! Even though changing my pattern felt unbearable at times, in choosing to honor me, I remembered the understanding which gave me the perspective to continue and not give up.

Yes, the aspects of lack and separation are reflections of me. Every one of those aspects that I keep becoming aware of are ME, AND so are the aspects of love, compassion, and wisdom, etc., that I witness in others. When I look at another and see courage, creativity, trust, wisdom, joy, unconditional love, passion, that’s ME too!

My only focus doesn’t have to be on the parts that have to be brought back to wholeness. In those moments of despair, one very important thing I can do is look to the vast messages about the DIVINE ME all around.  I truly hadn’t seen it that way. When I’m experiencing feelings of separation and lack, if my perspective of someone I admire is that they are everything I am not, this just propels me further into the spiral of despair.

To do it differently, when I feel that fear, doubt, judgement, etc., is what I truly am, what I need to do is look at the mirrors reflecting the Authentic Me, ALL of it! I will not be able to deny the Truth. This will allow me to get past the illusion of separateness long enough for me to continue on the process of forgiveness and acceptance, until I can come back to Wholeness.

In those periods of fear and defeat, I will remind myself that these are just moments leading me to Truth. I will remember to see my true nature of Oneness reflected in others and in situations, just as I see the pieces that are reflecting separation. When I see something in another which I feel I lack, I will remind myself that it’s already within me, for we are all One. I will take courage from the qualities of Oneness I witness and continue allowing and accepting the pieces of separation without so much fear and struggle.

And when I feel the struggle is too much and I want to retreat to old beliefs and patterns, I will reach out to the beautiful soul tribe of which I am a part for support, wisdom, love, perspective, etc., until I feel those same qualities within me again. For it is in those moments that I have to remember I can draw strength from all the wonderful people that surround me. No more hiding who I am or isolation. No more procrastination. The commitment to Wholeness is the path I choose and there’s no way I’m going to make it all the way through if I continue to choose the patterns that no longer serve me. Choose differently. Seek a different perspective. Choose a different action. Think differently. Is this super uncomfortable? YES!  But the alternative will not lead me back to ME.  The old pattern shows me I am just waiting for me to come home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cathy Guido
Trinity Energy Progression Facilitator/Practitioner

Holiday Self-Care

As the Holidays race towards me, I am finding it harder to do my self-care. Which makes it harder to create the Holiday I want for me and my family. I have decided to focus my energy on the ideas and things that bring me joy and warm memories. That goes for traditions as well as decorations. In fact, I am broadly applying that to every object in my house!! I am also reminding myself, as often as necessary, that anyone’s dissatisfaction comes from their expectations or believed needs and have nothing to do with me!

© Marian Vejcik | Dreamstime.com

I am protecting my space as well, by continuing with my self care routines, even if they get shortened. I need to remind myself that simple things like brushing my teeth, washing my face and showering ARE self care! Another version of self care is watching what I say to myself. I have replaced “Man, I have way too much to do!” With “I have more than enough time to accomplish everything I desire.” It really shifts how my day plays out. I also find that if I think of the things I do for myself, like meals, relaxation time, and sleeping, with the same intent I would have if I were caring for a child or friend, it comes from a much more meaningful place and the results are much more powerful. A very simple self-care example  is muting commercials while you watch TV. What a difference this makes! I also make sure I surround myself with things that bring me joy in my sleeping space. For me it is oils in my diffuser that relax me, my favorite Lemurian crystal on my nightstand and that I have an extra blanket handy if I need it during the night. My meal preparation and planning has also been revamped to reflect the notion of joy and warm memories. I don’t make things just because my family always has. I realize that is craziness. I also ask for help when things get busy. I realize that is a way to make more joy and warm memories and that it isn’t a sign of weakness!

All and all I have a much better outlook going in to these Holiday than ever before. I am creating them differently and completely based in joy and love for everyone including myself!!

Sarah Avignone
Trinity Energy Progression Instructor/Practitioner

Wounds Can Teach Us About Self-Love

Many of us lack self-love, because we don’t attend to our wounds. We all have them. Some wounds are so intense they become traumatic, sometimes relegated to becoming a dark secret that we don’t want to look at, not to mention even talk about in our society.  What if they are crying out for our acceptance, and to be loved so we can heal?

Culturally we are afraid of wounds. Afraid that they will define us, afraid they make us “less than”, afraid of the judgements of others. We’re afraid of drudging up sad memories, afraid that if we deal with them, we’ll become overwhelmed, stuck in depression, afraid that we’ll never heal. Such conditioning lends itself to the problem that we don’t love ourselves.

A doe and her fawn shyly peek out from behind tree.

The heart is curious and shy.

And it’s true, if we don’t look at them, we will never heal. If we don’t include the wound as a part of the whole that we are, we’ll never know our true potential. Largely we also don’t love ourselves in our culture.  As Jelualudin Rumi said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” How could this be?

This quote hounded my thoughts like an intriguing mystery or befuddling koan. Many years into my healing journey, I purchased a bracelet with Rumi’s quote engraved upon it. I pondered it when old torments visited my mind, and where I felt these wounds – in my heart.

Thus I began to stalk my heart as if she were a white-tailed doe I wanted to befriend. When she was shy, I just sat with her, observing.  Sometimes I waited and she didn’t show up, unsure that I would really be there. Eventually, I noticed how my heart felt interacting with different people. I could see when she was open, and when she was closed. I took extra care when my heart felt tender.  Like leaving corn out for deer, I began feeding my heart more experiences that made her sing. Soon, she felt that acceptance and showed up with a family of old wounds that needed tending to, shyly asking for more.

The wounding in my heart taught me how to be kind to myself, how to love myself. Because I allowed myself to follow the threads of inspiration, things that I loved, my heart burst wide open. I spent untold amounts of time in nature, and continue to do so. Instead of dwelling on loneliness, I learned to accept it, and now love the time I spend alone. Meanwhile, I took myself as a lover. I studied ancient and new spiritual practices.

Throughout my journey, I learned that the more I shared what I had perceived to be “dark secrets” with others, the more I found our common humanity. By accepting my own wounding with unconditional love, I can learn to be present for that in others. Because I learned to lovingly be with my darkness, my heart has become lighter, fuller. By embracing my wounds with love, I learned to “let the light enter” after all.

Colleen Kendrick, Trinity Energy Practitioner

 

 

Through the Eyes of Love (True Love)

Have you ever considered who in your life really loves you? Who loves and appreciates you for exactly who you are, with NO conditions and NO strings attached? Can you think of anyone? Many of us can think of a few people who at least partially fit this description, and yet not fully. Most love is conditional and attachable. It can be fleeting and unpredictable. Conditional love isn’t true love….at least not in the divine sense. It’s not the Oneness-based, connected kind of love, and it’s usually attached to outcomes. The ego gets its footing by navigating and judging those outcomes. Unconditional love is not attached to outcomes or conditions. It does not judge; it simply IS. Have you ever experienced this kind of love?

I had an experience recently that helped me put the concept of love back into a divine perspective. It was through my beloved dog, Wags. Dogs have a way of loving unconditionally like no other beings can. Have you ever considered the magnitude of what they give? There are no strings attached. They love their owners no matter what, forever and ever. They smile at you, stare at you, and will do anything for you. Their purpose is to bring you happiness and joy and they will do it all the days of their life. My dog, Wags, was the perfect example. She was a social dog and loved people. She had a magical way of lifting people up and bringing smiles to their faces. She was beautiful inside and out, and she would do anything for our family; always holding the vibration of unconditional love.

Wags was a part of our family for 10+ years. She entered our lives at a vulnerable time and she was the perfect addition. We had been waiting to get a family dog and the time had come in 2006 in North Carolina. We had just moved from California and my oldest son was chronically ill. He had lost his zeal for life and could barely function.  He needed a devoted pal, so it was time to seek out our beloved pet. We found Wags at a pet adoption event. I walked into the store and it was love at first sight.  I knew she was the one and I could feel it all over! She was three years old and she was the most perfect dog in every way.  I didn’t see any flaws (even if she had some); I just saw love and beauty.

Wags became a therapy dog for my son, Michael. He needed to feel loved and important. Wags gave him an important job to do—he took her for walks, fed her, brushed her, and took her to bed at night. Wags was so happy to be the object of fondness and appreciation. She was a significant part of Michael’s healing process throughout the year. With each passing night she became more a part of us. We had some fun adventures! Over the years, Wags taught our family many things. To my youngest son, she taught him patience, gentleness, and kindness. He would often have an unpleasant mood swing because he didn’t understand his role in the world; he gave Wags some opportunities to be forgiving. She was really good at it! It was an ongoing learning experience for him—how to treat an animal with kindness and respect– and Wags volunteered happily to be the demo dog.

My husband had his special moments with Wags, too. He would come home from a very stressful day at work and Wags would greet him at the door. She would jump up on him with excitement and enthusiasm, tail wagging and smiles on her face. He appreciated the recognition that he was an important person. Many of his days were filled with exhaustion, confusion, and doubt and Wags was there for support. For myself, Wags was my special buddy, my heart’s companion.  I knew there was something really, really special about her. I took her for walks many a day and cuddled with her on the floor. A day didn’t go by where I didn’t say “Thank you Wags.” I had deep fondness and appreciation to her, for showing up in my family’s life.  That magical day at the pet store…. it was definitely FATE.  Wags and I had unspoken stares back and forth to each other. It was as if to say, “Hey, I know you!”   It was a telepathic connection of soul companions.  Well, one day it dawned on me.

We were in our new home in Fate, TX and Wags would come up to the kitchen several times a day, just to stare at me. There was a deep fondness in her stare. I would stare back. After many weeks of this, I suddenly realized who she was. “She has the soul of my childhood dog… Oh my gosh, she is Buttercup!!!”  Tears of gratitude ran down my face because I knew it in my heart of hearts it was her. My special dog from my youth, BUTTERCUP.  My soul companion, my best friend! She’d stood by my side through thick and thin: when I was heartbroken, when I was sad, when I was empty, when I was mad. Always there to comfort me and console me, even when I wanted to give up on life.  Always knew what I needed.  She helped me give voice to my feelings.  I lost her when she was 13yrs and my heart never quite healed. The longing for my dog continued and I often had dreams about her. My “new” dog, Wags, brought her back to me!  I was ELATED with excitement and joy.

I felt deep gratitude to Wags for months. It was her fate was to follow us to Fate, TX! She appeared to help me heal my past. She was to mirror the divine back to me….to show me that I was the Divine. I had to put her down – as Buttercup – due to kidney failure, and I never recovered.  The condition popped up suddenly and I didn’t want her to suffer. I was only 19 yrs. old and heartbroken. I paid her vet bills to try to save her and it was a lot of money for a college student, yet she was my best friend.  She didn’t recover, and the inevitable happened. A part of me was always missing and I carried the pain for years. It was the pain of GUILT, for not spending enough quality time with her in her final months.  I was a busy college student struggling to go to school full time and work to pay the bills.  There was just no time left for Buttercup. I did what I could and it never felt like enough. Slowly, Buttercup slipped away. I didn’t realize the magnitude until it was too late.  She was always there when I needed her most; however, I wasn’t there for her when she needed me (that’s how I perceived it), so I carried this guilt for decades. When Wags showed up and revealed herself as Buttercup, I knew she came here to help me heal. She loved me so much to do this! She reminded me that everything was OK. She helped me accept what I did. She showed me that I was the divine and everything was perfect. She imparted a beautiful message that I did a wonderful job as her owner. She’s a dog with so much unconditional love and resolve, as Buttercup and as Wags. She was a teacher and a healer. ?

Wags continued as a loyal companion.  An event happened recently that reminded me of how special she was! It’s the unimaginable day when your pet has puzzling symptoms that take you to the ER. She was out of sorts that weekend and progressively got worse. Her symptoms declined and turned into multiple seizures. It was scary (to the ego). We had to come to terms with the possibility that it might be her time. All sorts of feelings and memories came popping up and we had to deal with them. We were given an opportunity to share more love and gratitude to Wags…for ALL of the wonderful things she has done for us. We thanked her for always caring, always loving, always being by our side.  This was our moment to really share our hearts and to say all of the things we wanted to say over the years.  It was tough and it was necessary.  Fortunately, Wags wasn’t ready to go yet and she was showing us once again that she wouldn’t not leave our side. Through this whole ordeal, she taught us many things [there she went again, being a teacher and a healer ?].  Some of the lessons were individual and some were for the whole family.  We were motivated to do things differently. One of my personal lessons was to realize that I didn’t resolve my past guilt 100% – there was still a piece left. Time to let it go! I decided to spend quality time with my precious girl while we still had her. It felt good. Our family came together and we treated each other with more respect and courtesy, all to do with Wag’s care and treatments. We all had a voice equally and shared our feelings. We saw through Wags’ eyes of love and oneness.

Wags originally came to “save us” in a sense, by bringing love, joy, and healing to our family. In turn, we “saved” her when she was in crisis. Animals really do speak. They do feel and they do communicate! Dogs have a love so deep, a love so pure, a bond so tight. They will never leave your side until their purpose is fulfilled and they have taught you FULLY what they came here to teach.  That’s a dog’s purpose and unconditional love. ?

I am now finishing up this blog a few weeks after starting it. I put it on hold because many things changed, and I gave it time to settle. Wags taught us yet another lesson after all of that! She took a turn for the “worse” and her health declined, just two weeks after she was revived. I became concerned and took her back to the vet– he did more bloodwork and tests. I had a feeling this might be her end. She came to me in a dream and showed me 5 open doorways. She walked through each one of them to show me there was a message on the other side. She wanted me to follow her through each day — one doorway at a time. One doorway represented one day of the week. I knew I had to trust. There were no more doorways past Friday and I felt like the messages would be complete.  My gut feeling was that Wags wouldn’t be here after that and that Friday would be her last day… yet I didn’t want to believe it.

The messages she gave me were so perfect in every way.  One of them was to tell me to resolve all issues with her and deem them as complete — to do this together in a healing session (to which I did). Our time together was perfect in both lifetimes and we both did what we came here to do. Another message was given to me in the grocery store, LOL! A song came on radio and it said, “It feels so good to be home” over and over again. It was a sign that Wags was ready, confirmation.  She also told me to see everyone as she sees me….see everyone as the DIVINE. My love quotient went up 10,000 notches while in the store. A burst of love came over me and I recognized it was a gift from Wags.  It was to help me receive love and give love more freely. I had no words, I couldn’t speak. I felt SO much love for everyone in the store, no matter who they were. I looked around and just saw the DIVINE in each one. It was beautiful! A very deep, pure, authentic love, and SO deep. It was an out-of-this-world experience and it cut through many layers. Wow, it was powerful!

Yet another message came through that week and I couldn’t miss it! Wags came to me through a flying beetle.  It flew right at my head and landed in front of me, LOL!  The beetle message is resurrection and immortality.  It brings our attention to renewal, spiritual maturity, and the powerful influences of the invisible side of life.  Of course (SIGH) – there couldn’t be a more perfect message for me to prepare the way for Wags to cross over. Yes, it was her time to go home, and I finally accepted it. I can’t put words to it exactly and I had a deep knowing that all is complete.

I brought all of the messages together and they became complete as one. We had both reached our spiritual maturity and it was time for us continue on different planes. It’s no coincidence that Wags crossed over on Good Friday and we buried her the same day. She resurrected on Easter Sunday and we visited her grave. My family and I were there together and we felt endless love all around. I also felt resurrection energies…they came from Wags and from ALL of the pet/doggie souls. It was powerful and I heard the words, “It is finished.” It reminded me of the Christ. I felt a deep sense of freedom and lightness come over my body; we paid tribute to Wags and thanked her for all that she was/is.  She was showing herself from the powerful side of the invisible, through the eyes of love. We feel her presence continue with us in the house; she is always around us, never truly gone. It’s a powerful reminder to trust the invisible and to allow messages to enter our lives through the magical doorways – they’re all around us. We just need to open our eyes and open them up.  We experience the physical for just a short time.  We experience the non-physical for eternity. TRUST. Through the Eyes of Love. So long, beloved Wags.  You are home free and in my heart forever.! Home is where the heart is.  A love so pure, so complete, with no attachments. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.  Thank you for EVERYTHING! Shine on! Love you always my friend. ???

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sandy Anthony
Trinity Energy Progression Facilitator/Practitioner

All That I Am

Silence
In your stillness
I surrender
all things

Light
In your warm embrace
I let go
all shadows

Heart
In your space
I give love
all to feel

Perception
In your infinite gaze
I see clearly
all beauty

Patience
In your temperance
I wait
all to manifest

Darkness
In your depths
I acknowledge
all your sides

Me
In your eyes
I see you
all of you

and I LOVE YOU dearly.

Sevi Costaras

 

 

 

 

Sevi Costaras
Facilitator, Trinity Energy Progression™