An answer bubbles up to the surface and shows that I am in grief and misery and terribly miss knowing that I will forget all this. When I wake up and step into my truth and being that I am, I will have no memory at all of this dream world of this enchanted, exotic, wild, exciting, ego trip that I have been experiencing since the apple was eaten and this hallucination begun. That I hold onto. I hold onto wanting to remember this and that. Something tells me that both cannot be remembered. It feels like something of the flavor of "we cannot serve two masters."