In this new cycle, or… New Year, many of us have been called to try new things; to do, be, create, think, express differently. To come out the comfort zone, come out of our shells or to spread the wings and fly. And, of course, I took it to heart and very personally! ?

I started going deep into childhood memories, my imaginary future possibilities and buried desires. Questioning myself: What else did I want to be/do when I grew up that I have not done yet?

That questioning brought me to this new experience. As I live this new exciting/challenging process of remembrance of being fully my Self, as myself and part of the Divine consciousness, I have felt confused and clear, frustrated and at peace…. all at the same time! But, I am committed to embracing it… fully!

Following guidance from within, from friends and family and from the loving nudges that God/ Universe/Source is giving me through my experiences, I chose to go for it and answer the calling to do something completely different.

Taking action upon opportunities, I found myself pursuing one of my very deep and quiet desires and loves… to learn to play an instrument.

As I child, I always imagined myself dancing and playing/rocking to this hypnotizing instrument… the guitar!!! Yes, like those female guitar/electric bass players… yep, just like that! ?

Even though I feel a have been living in a song, I’m super musically oriented as a dancer, and with a family full of musicians and performers, I could picture myself playing it, but (maybe because others did it or, because I felt I wasn’t cool enough) I didn’t seriously consider it an option, like I did with dance(which became a career). I never thought I would be brave enough to pick up a guitar to play it… especially now, years later!

It felt too familiar, yet too foreign to conceptualize it. It’s  knowledge felt beyond me, yet very deeply rooted within my soul. An unexplainable connection; a deep feeling of  respect to it, to its sound.

This idea of playing guitar took me to a point of discomfort and feelings of unworthiness. The thought of me creating music through this instrument felt embarrassing… the sound will come from my playing it? I am more familiar with being seeing, not heard (or so I thought).

It still feels uncomfortable and embarrassing, even though I have processed. Little by little… I’m getting over it. ?

So, me acting upon bravely and with a conflicted mind,  I followed my intuition and guidance to find an instructor; it started as my son’s guitar instructor, who also plays. Then, buying a guitar(no name yet ?)… and then actually starting the lessons.

I dove right into my first lesson. And, with ZERO understanding of the instrument, I attentively listened to the instructor while a gazillion thoughts were processed in my mind. You might know some; thoughts like: “Me, not me… Ego please stop… I don’t get it! Be patience, have fun… why, I don’t get it…” On and on!

There I was… me! 10 minutes into it, I was on the verge of tears of frustration, trying to grasp the concepts of the guitar. I found even the most elemental concepts challenging… I still do; there was the quiet voice/energy saying, “Shh… Listen, imagine, be patient… You can do it!”

Then, the instructor started to explain the how’s. The string and the pressure of one’s touch, and how that creates the sound. Depending on where you place your fingers on the strings, different sounds one creates. Also, the sound gets higher in tones as you go down the neck of the guitar and vice versa… he lost me there a little bit!

Yes, awesome! yet… I didn’t get it.? Then he said, “Imagine a Circle.” Ahhh… ok! More confused, but I gave it a few breaths (practicing patience, thank you yoga).

All of a sudden, in my mind, I saw this circle tilt into a different perspective, looking at it diagonally. As I see another perspective, I start seeing a spiral  moving higher, as it goes down the neck of the guitar. The strings being the spirals, showing me how the sound moves. And how this relates to me. Just like our experiences in life.

Imagining life as a circle… well, to me it looks like a never ending circle, where we experience things over and over again. Different scenario, same core issue; over and over… It is not until we see the loop for what it is, we wonder in an ego-based spiral of thoughts. Sometimes, we get sucked in to that flow. But,  when we look at it from another angle, tilting that circle; the spiral shows up! I imagine it very similar to a DNA strand. That circle expands, like an accordion. There I can see the downward and upward spiral. The flow is there for us to flow in whatever direction we want. Within it, I can see how even the core issue shows up, as repeatedly as it might seem, the experiences are showing us its lessons; to learn and remember. I can choose from what perspective to see it. Seeing things in such a way, helps me to allow myself to observe it from a higher/different perspective every time. Allowing a deeper knowing and understanding of it so I can release, and expand. So I can evolve, grow, and learn the lesson.  To let go with gratitude. Like a spiral of limitless possibilities, experiences, knowledge full of love, made by, with, to, and for Love. That’s how I’ve started to understand how the guitar works. And it feels amazing!

Back in 3D/guitar lesson, an hour-and-a-half went by in a blink of an eye! So fun!

Now, I have a better idea about guitars, how it works and how I relate to it. It’s fascinating!

The learning/play process… it’s a challenge I was able to choose. I’m feeling empowered and unafraid to mess up. I’m allowing myself to be vulnerable and allow a sound to come from me.

I choose to flow with the knowledge of the beautiful unknown, and allow myself to experience it, to the best and highest of my capabilities, feeling grateful and having fun.

To a new cycle… In allowance and acceptance… Going beyond… Being courageous… Being a lighthouse… Being!

Yashmin Wall
Trinity Energy Progression Facilitator/Practitioner